More on Mean Kids

I guess you could say, I struck a chord. In a span of about 5 days, over 300,000 of you viewed my post on Mean Kids. One hundred and thirteen thousand (113,000) of those views came in one day, repeatedly crashing the poor server that hosts my little blog.

To put that in perspective, in all of 2013, my blog had 26,000 views, total. The day before the Mean Kids post went live, I had 76 views. That’s 76 with no zeros after it.

I considered just moving on as if nothing odd happened. You know, post something about balance or show you my newly renovated kitchen or something. Everyone can return to your homes now…nothing to see here.

But last night, I read through (for a second time) the 250+ stories in the comment section. And the dozens of emails in my inbox. And the numerous comments on the Facebook pages. Story after story of children tormented by Mean Kids. Story after story of Mothers, Fathers, Grandparents, Teachers, saying “Thank You!” and “Me too!” and “This is exactly what I needed.” and “I’m reading this to my child/class/church.”

(And also, “You are horrible” and “What kind of Christian are you?” and “Shame on you.” )

How can I not say SOMETHING? I need to say Something.

So, here goes my Something.

1.“Sandy, I can’t believe you said, “I hate mean kids.” What is wrong with you?

Hate is a strong word. It’s a little shocking when a Christian Mom Blogger begins a post by saying, “I hate mean kids.” Believe it or not, I chose that word on purpose. It wasn’t reckless or irresponsible.

As a writer, I observe the world and try to articulate what I see. As a Christian writer, I then position these observations in light a Biblical worldview.

There is a visceral response that emerges in a parent when she sees someone else hurt her child. If she sees it happen repeatedly or if the hurt begins to shape her child’s self image, the response is even bigger, more intense. For me, that visceral response looks and feels a lot like hate.

I don’t think “hate” is right or okay or justified. It just is. If you read through any other posts on this blog, you will see that I am happy to throw myself under the bus to illustrate how NOT to do something. Most of my posts are born from me doing something terribly wrong and then trying to make it right.

To clarify: I have never told my children I hate Mean Kids (though someday they will read this post and I can talk to them about my choice of words at that time.)

I have never told them that it’s okay for them to hate mean kids.

I don’t think God hates mean kids.

Though, I’m curious about this scripture 2 Kings, chapter 2:

“23 From there Elisha went up to Bethel. As he was walking along the road, some boys came out of the town and jeered at him. “Get out of here, baldy!” they said. “Get out of here, baldy!” 24 He turned around, looked at them and called down a curse on them in the name of the Lord. Then two bears came out of the woods and mauled forty-two of the boys. 25 And he went on to Mount Carmel and from there returned to Samaria.”

(ummmmm…)

(Suddenly, my desire to want to flick mean kids in the head doesn’t sound quite so harsh. Comparatively speaking.)

(That really IS in the Bible, BTW. Look it up.)

(I’m not sure what to do with that…just putting it out there for your consideration.)

Anyway, I hope most of the people who read this post understand that I was describing a feeling rather than declaring a position against certain children.

But just in case you didn’t, I want to say emphatically, IT IS WRONG AND BAD AND SINFUL AND COMPLETELY DESTRUCTIVE TO HATE MEAN KIDS.

Please don’t hate mean kids.

2.Sandy, what is up with calling this poor child a “Mean Kid,” anyway? Don’t you know that labels are harmful? How can you define him by his sin? What is wrong with you?

Yes, I understand that labeling children is harmful, but I chose to name the kid in the story “Mean Kid” because I wanted him to represent all Mean Kids.

When you read this post, I want you to see the child in YOUR son’s school who mocked YOUR daughter on the playground. Titles like “Mean Kid,” “Mean Girl,” “Bully,” and the like, are commonly used by psychologists, the media and schools to describe a certain type of aggressive and manipulative behavior. I was using it in the same way.

When I say to my son, “Don’t ever be the Mean Kid,” he knows exactly what I’m saying.

And so did you.

(And for the record, I honestly do not know what is wrong with me. I just don’t know. Pray for me.)

3.Sandy, where’s the love and grace for this Mean Kid? How dare you “attack” him! Shouldn’t your son have extended forgiveness? Isn’t that the true Christian response?

I do not find this approach to be “unloving” at all. Confrontation and love are not opposites. Sometimes the most loving and grace-filled thing we can say to someone is, “No. That hurts” or “Stop it.” In fact, that is exactly what Jesus told us to do.

If your brother or sister sins, go and point out their fault, just between the two of you. If they listen to you, you have won them over. But if they will not listen, take one or two others along, so that ‘every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.’ If they still refuse to listen, tell it to the church; and if they refuse to listen even to the church, treat them as you would a pagan or a tax collector.” Matt 18:15-18

The actual confrontation can be the very thing that wins them over to Christ! Go figure.

Incidentally, at the practice following the incident described in this post, my son ran off the court with a smile on his face. He told me Mean Kid’s real name and said, “We’re friends now.”

It doesn’t always work out this way, but in our case, it did.

4.Sandy, it is wrong for you to step in and teach your son that you will fight all his battles for him. You should have let him handle it himself.

I am not a parenting expert. I am not an anti-bullying expert. I am, however, an avid student of my children, and you, yours. I am constantly assessing what they need and how to meet those needs, and you are doing the same thing with your kids. You alone will know when it’s time to step in and when it’s time to step back.

My job as Mom is to equip my children, so that by the time they fly from my nest, they are fully reliant on God and fully able to thrive in the real world without my intervention.

In this particular case, my son (who is still a CHILD) needed an advocate.

I like the way Kim from 3 Peanuts responded to this:

I see your point a little, … And I AM a parenting expert, PhD and all. It is what I do for a living… Yes, we do need to let/teach our kids to problem solve for themselves. But our kids also need to feel like we are there to help when things get too big for them. And things do get too big for them to handle sometimes…It is a balance of not rescuing them constantly. One author says we rescue our kids as though they are drowning in ankle deep water. That is a mistake for sure. But we need to throw them a lifeline when they are in over their heads.”

Given the chance to rewind, I would have handled it in a similar way. Though, I probably would have approached the parents along with my son, introduced myself, and had more of a discussion. Next time, I will do that.

5.Sandy, someday your kids will be mean to someone else and then you’ll be sorry you were so harsh with Mean Kid.

I agree we all have the capacity to be mean, my children included. The more my son is picked on, the more I see the capacity grow in him to repeat the cycle. That is precisely why I stressed to him the importance of NEVER being the Mean Kid.

More than once, I’ve handed the phone to my child to make the apology call,

More than once, I proofread the apology note,

More than once, I stood with a firm hand on my child’s shoulder during a verbal apology,

And countless times, I marched a kid straight over to a neighbor’s house to say, “I’m sorry.”

I’m a giant advocate for nipping my children’s Meanness in the bud at the earliest possible age and as often as necessary.

I tell my kids over and over, “Jesus cares very much how you treat people.”

I believe how we treat others is paramount. More important than just about anything.

That’s why, when our children come to us crying that someone else was mean to them, we should be asking the questions, “What happened before this? What did you say? What did you do? How did you respond?”

We need to help our children recognize what role, if any, they play in how other people treat them. If my son is doing something to provoke another child and that child lashes out, I expect my son to take full responsibility for his actions.

(When my son came off the court that night, I asked him to tell me everything that happened. I wanted to understand what, if anything, my son did to contribute to the taunting. Before I approached Mean Kid, I wanted to be sure my son had not provoked it.)

Part of maturity is owning our contribution (good and bad) to all relationships, and striving to minimize our negative contribution.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This issue is huge and we’ve barely touched the surface. I have not even begun to share the extensive issues with Mean Girls we have navigated with my teen-aged daughter—and, as I have permission from her to do so, I will.

I cringe when I consider that my youngest daughter—whose world consists primarily of princesses and rainbows—will someday be called a name or excluded from a group because of the color of her skin.

So, for now, I want to extend my heart-felt compassion to every child who has endured the wrath of the Mean Kid, and to every parent who, with racing heart, has marched into a school or onto a playground or out the back door to confront it.

I applaud you.  You are doing an amazing job.

And also, to every parent of the Mean Kid…As so many of you pointed out, sometimes he is dealing with a spectrum disorder or mental illness, and in the background is a loving parent diligently training that child appropriate peer interaction. As a Mom of an ADHD child, I link arms with you, too. I get it.

I sincerely pray that something I wrote sparks a change, and that maybe a hurting child will emerge stronger and bolder and more Christ-like than before we met.

We are in this together.

Me and kids

 

Click here to read  What to do When Someone is Mean to Your Child.

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The Scoop on Balance is a blog comprised of posts from my former blogs God Speaks Today and The Amazing Adventures of Fitness Friday Girl. If you see references to these blogs, don't be confused. Also, if by chance you come across a dead link, would you please e-mail me or leave a comment and let me know? Thank you!

Comments

  1. Sandy, although this was a great post with lots of good stuff, as a fellow blogger/writer/speaker I’m all hung up on the first paragraph. I am SO PROUD OF YOU! So excited for you! So blessed by you! And so glad the rest of the world is finally figuring out how super-awesome you are! Go, Sandy, Go!!!
    E. Tyler Rowan recently posted..A Fresh Start for 2014My Profile

  2. Donn says:

    I just want you to know that I have a beef with all of that critisism that you got about your original post. As a Christian mom I don’t see a darned thing wrong with standing up for your sweet son, talking to the mean kid, the coach, or the parent.
    Yes we should be loving to others, yes we should be forgiving of others, yes we should be a million things better than most of us probably are, but before we are any of those things we are parents. That was among the first things that God commanded Adam and Eve to be, they were told to go forth and have children (and I think we can insinuate that they were expected to care for them as well as they could). And so before you are to worry about any other child you are to worry about yours.
    I applaude your efforts and your approach to dealing with something that was really hard, it is never easy to deal with those kinds of situations. And I love that you followed up and taught him one of the most valuable lessons he could learn, sometimes things aren’t how you want them to be but God will always love you. And don’t you be the one making life hard on others. What a good Mom your son has.

  3. Kelly Stoski says:

    I am impressed at your loving, thoughtful, and biblical response to the criticism.

  4. Mindy says:

    Well now I have to go back and read those comments from adult bullies so I can stick up for my friend Sandy! Ha!

    I’m always amazed at what we expect our kids to handle, where, in the adult working world, Human Resources would be pulled in so fast to eliminate any kind of harassment our heads would spin.

    Bravo to you, Sandy – you did a fabulous job as a parent and a blogger!

    • Sandy Cooper says:

      That is such a good point, Mindy. In a real-life working situation, no adult would be expected to put up with harassment. From henceforth, you shall call me “HR.”

  5. joel says:

    For starters, fabulous set of posts. Makes me want to start blogging myself. I think you nailed the whole thing.

    By way of introduction/explanation/apology-in-advance, I am a self described word nerd and a devout Christian. When I want to understand something better, the first thing I look to is the etymology of key concepts. (Having a copy of the OED helps.) Especially in the bible, I see word that seem to have similar roots, and I go looking to see if they do. A few things I’ve found over the years that you might enjoy with reference to your point 3:

    1. Chastize. The -ize (-ise if you prefer) makes an action that creates the first half of the word. To ‘chastize’ is not the same as punish, but rather to make chaste, or pure. I feel there was at least some of that in your heart in that original moment with the “Mean Kid”….

    2. Discipline. Disciple comes from roots that deal with learning. A disciple is one who learns from a master (capital D, capital M). To ‘discipline’ is (again) not to punish, but to teach. Again, I feel there was at least some of that in your heart in that first moment.

    Mine are toddlers. I’m spending a lot of time watching and listening and trying to learn so that I can defend them and teach them when those moments come, because they will come.

    Keep doing what you do. And thank you for sharing it here.

  6. Love it, love it, love it!!!
    One day there was a girl in her sophomore year in high school who was being repeatedly harassed (mildly yet daily) by a girl whose locker was above hers. The sophomore became increasingly upset about it to the point of tears. The mom had given her all kinds of great boundary setting advice. But one day the mom had it with the mean girl. She suggested another tactic to her daughter. It was confrontational. It worked. After that the “mean girl” was very nice…yea even friendly…to the mom’s daughter.
    Melanie Dorsey recently posted..Wandering Minds Want to KnowMy Profile

  7. Kim says:

    Thank you for this post and the last post. My son is 6 and just beginning to deal with these issues. I shared your first post on Facebook and I’ve already had several discussions with other moms who’s children are being bullied at school. We all have the same frustration, how can we get the schools to help? You have a great blog and I look forward to reading more.

  8. Good follow up article. Esp like #2 – “2.Sandy, what is up with calling this poor child a “Mean Kid,” anyway? Don’t you know that labels are harmful? How can you define him by his sin? What is wrong with you?”

    I think some people who say that have been so permissive with their kids that they have become mean (from what I have seen). Then, they want us to be understanding of their children’s meanness. They don’t want to confront their own mean kids because they are, well, mean, even to the parents. So, the next thing for them to do is to try to get us to be kind, understanding, sympathetic of their children’s meanness. In short, they want us to enable it, like the parent is doing. Not a good idea. At some point someone must, in the best interest of the mean child, confront him. Only then will he learn. Hard, even sad, truth, but it is a truth (or at least, a truism).

    Another good post.
    Warren Baldwin recently posted..The FarmMy Profile

    • Sandy Cooper says:

      Thank you, Warren. I, for one, would expect someone to confront my child if he or she was taunting another child. Not everyone sees it that way, though.

      It’s good to see you around here again. :)

  9. Anne Sinclair says:

    Great follow-up, Sandy! I just got linked to your blog and love the humor you put into your entries, even when they are tough situations.

  10. Katie Goodpasture says:

    Wonderful follow-up… I agree. You handled the criticism here with grace and dignity and respect. Very constructive. I can say that I’ve been the victim of the “Mean Kids” LOTS of times… but a few times, I WAS the Mean Kid! I can think back on 2 of my victims… oh, sorry, make that 3! And I cringe at the thought of the things I did and said to those poor kids. And the minute my mom found out, I was lectured, forced to apologize and then grounded to my room (and this was years ago… no TV or games in the room… no, just a bed, dresser and plenty of books)! I appreciate the Biblical references to the way God handles our wrong behaviors… whether through confrontation or being eaten by bears! Yikes! Forgiveness is ours for the asking, but first we have to be confronted with and acknowledge our sin. I love my mother for setting me straight… and now, as a mom, I have both stood up for my kids when they were being treated unfairly, and I’ve made them apologize when they were the ones doing wrong. I’ve also talked them through how to handle themselves when someone is being mean to them or someone around them. I loved the end of your last post where you talked about the “teachable moment” between you and your son and laid out the points you made with him. So well put! So thanks again!

    • Sandy Cooper says:

      Katie,

      I can remember many times I was mean to girls in elementary school because my best friend was very popular and I wanted her to like me. It was terrible and I carried the guilt of that into adulthood, until I had an opportunity to apologize to the girls.

      So much of my parenting strategies are born from my own failures.

  11. Michele Brennan says:

    I had to come in and read some of your follow-ups. I read your post to my 9yo, who has also said “The whole world hates me.” I commend you for even taking time to respond to anyone who would criticize you. I have 2 boys and we have talks about this daily. Those who would think you wrong are either the “mean kids” or by God’s good grace have never been in the situation where they or their children have been on the receiving side of a “mean child”. I am hoping that your words will help my 9yo understand what I have been telling him and maybe make it easier to bring light to the darkness. We have a serious problem in our schools where the faculty is afraid of telling a parent their child is being the bully or being mean. WE parents need to unite and tell these mean kids to “be careful how they treat our children or else… there is a room waiting for them!” Thank you again…

  12. sharon green says:

    Ask yourself this….why is this child “a mean kid?”….they aren’t born that way…so, what in the world made this child “mean”?….interesting question…..

    • Sandy Cooper says:

      Sharon:

      That’s a great question and one I addressed in the original post “What to do When Someone is Mean to Your Child

      Kids are mean for a reason. Sometimes, it’s because it makes them feel strong. Sometimes, they are going along with the crowd to be accepted. Sometimes, it’s because no one ever told them it was wrong to treat people that way. Sometimes, it’s because someone has been mean to them. But almost NEVER is it because of you. Don’t ever define yourself based on the opinion of the Mean Kid.

      And because this was not intended to be a dissertation on why kids are mean…those explanations only begin to scratch the surface. I’m guessing the reasons are as unique as the children themselves.

  13. April's Momma says:

    My 9 year old daughter lost her Daddy who was also a school bus driver, suddenly to cardiac arrest. A month after he passed away, several kids were talking in her presence about him being dead and he couldn’t protect her now, they never liked him, he was a terrible bus driver…..
    How would you handle that situation? Of course, the teachers said they had not heard anything but 8 different kids HAD heard it and told their parents who contacted me.
    I was put off by a “we will monitor the situation” from the principal. Now, 1 year later the same thing is happening again.
    I am ready to pull her out of and begin homeschooling. I don’t know.

    • Sandy Cooper says:

      April’s Momma,

      First of all, I am so very, very sorry for your loss. How tragic. have no words.

      If I were in your shoes, after contacting the school (which you did) I would probably get on the phone and call the individual parents of the children involved. Not to get in their face, but to have a conversation. Chances are, these parents do not know their children are saying such hurtful things and would be horrified to find out. Also, these children clearly do not know the impact of what they are saying to or about your daughter and her father–they need an authority figure (preferably their own parents) to enlighten them, instruct them, and lead them in an apology.

      I would not call them when I’m angry. I would believe the absolute best going into the situation, giving them every benefit of the doubt. I would pray a LOT before picking up the phone. And then I would say something like this:

      “I did not hear this myself, but several parents have called me to tell me. Your child was allegedly involved in saying some unkind things about my daughter’s deceased father. As you can imagine, we are all still in the throes of grief around here, so this is not a typical situation and it has been extremely difficult for us. And I know that if my daughter ever said something like this that was so hurtful, I would want to know so I could address it with her and have her apologize to the people she hurt. So, I’m just telling you that this is what I heard and it’s been horrible for my little girl. I was wondering if maybe you could talk to your child and find out what was truly said, and maybe just discuss with her that what my daughter needs right now is for people to love and support her.”

      I would truly take this opportunity to educate the other parents about what a grieving family needs. They may not even know. Most people don’t. (I lost a child and many well-meaning adults said stupid things). I bet if you approach them humbly and broken, the other parents will have compassion on you and your daughter. And unless they are total jerks, I’m guessing these parents will be on it very quickly.

      If this does not resolve it, I would do whatever I could to be present with my daughter as much as possible to hear what the kids say. This will allow you to approach the kids directly, if need be. And finally, if that does not resolve it, I would remove her from the situation (switch schools, drive her instead of ride the bus, change classes…whatever) until she is healed enough to handle it.

      Big giant hugs and lots of prayers coming your way for you and your precious girl.

  14. Kim Banks says:

    Thanks for sharing others’ opinions. I was one of the commenters who said, “I agree! Mean kids, suck!” but I appreciate the other side of the coin where we need to have grace for all. Jesus didn’t come for the righteous – he came for the sinners, right? Thanks again, Kim
    Kim Banks recently posted..3 things to do when preparing for maternity leaveMy Profile

  15. Amanda Newcomer says:

    I appreciated both of these articles about Mean Kids. Your thoughts are right on target. I simply cannot understand our culture that seems to think that we have a right to criticize and condemn so harshly through digital interaction. Hardly anyone would dare to say such things in person, face to face. In many ways, we all have times of being the Mean Kid–or adult. God bless you for standing up for your children, for teaching them God’s heart, and for dealing with the Mean Adults so graciously without backing down.

  16. Kristi says:

    Please get permission to share your thoughts and advice on Mean Girls! We are beginning to navigate those waters now and I can tell I would love your perspective.
    As a mom and an educator, I support both of your posts about Mean Kids and now I can’t wait to read more of your blog. Thank you for sharing so openly and honestly!

    • Sandy Cooper says:

      I would love to write about Mean Girls. It’s just that we are sort of in the thick of it right now and fear it would be social suicide to my daughter to write about it. I am constantly toying around in my brain how to write about it cryptically, though. :)

  17. Alicia says:

    Sandy,

    Thanks so very much for both of your posts about “mean kids.” Last school year, my daughter was the repeated target of a bully. Unfortunately for her, as her mother, I did not step in early enough and help her. She’s 13, was in 7th grade and I thought I was doing the right thing by encouraging her to stand up for herself. I was so grateful when the school year ended because she got back to normal. I had not really seen how withdrawn she was during the school year when all this was going on. I made a terrible mistake. I feel terrible about it. Now here in Australia since this school year started in late January, my daughter has developed anxiety and depression. We are seeking treatment to help her and working with the school to put in place interventions to ensure she feels safe at school. But honestly, as her parent, she is my and my husband’s responsibility and we dropped the ball. I can never apologise to her enough and I have told her in great detail that I am sorry. I am on her side and have verbalised that to her now. We are trying to move forward, but now my daughter is suffering because I didn’t step in soon enough. Please let my story be a lesson to parents who are wondering if they should step in to stop a bully or if they should let their child work it out on their own. Parents, step in immediately and learn from my experience. I didn’t help my daughter soon enough and now she is suffering.

  18. Marie says:

    Sandy, I am so grateful to God that I ‘stumbled’ across both of your posts on this subject today. My husband and I have been going back and forth on how to handle this very issue with both of our kids (both adopted from birth, by the way!), as they’ve reported back to us, on their own, how things are going at school. While I wish my kids could have completely innocent, care-free, pain-free lives, I know that God is using these teachable moments to mold them and shape them to be the people He wants them to be in the future … and we get to be the adoptive parents with front-row seats to cheer for them, cry with them, discipline them, teach them along the way, all to release them, eventually – what a privilege! You are a tremendous resource for parents like me – keep the faith, fight the good fight, sister!

    Here are some things which I am learning in all this:

    1. There is a difference between a parent stepping in when the ‘meanness’ is witnessed. When my kids come home and tell me about something that happened at school earlier that day, or a while ago (let’s be honest, they don’t always share these things right away), I take that as my chance from God to have a teachable moment about it with my children, but not necessarily to have to go back and rehash it all with the other person right then and there. However, if I were to actually overhear or see the meanness, I would probably take that as my opportunity from God to be a part of the instructive process for both my kid and the other kid, or the family of the other kid right then and there. I think you handled the basketball game incident perfectly because it was ‘in the moment’ and it gave the other kid a chance to learn immediately. You made a positive difference in his life! Of course, with repeated offenses, or when safety is in question, I would absolutely handle situations in person, no matter how far back in time I have to reach. =) So these ‘mean kids’ are teaching me how to apply wisdom in timing, from situation to situation.

    2. As with all things parental, I’m learning that as God has brought up these opportunities in my kids’ lives, He is also teaching me how I, personally, am going to respond to this with my own heart. It’s amazing (and good, in a way) how quickly my blood pressure can rise in the moment of finding out that someone has hurt my child’s feelings … then the Holy Spirit so predictably steps in and reminds me that what I’m teaching my child is how I am supposed to respond when someone hurts ME! Yikes!!! I hate that, but oh, how I need it. =) So, these ‘mean kids’ are teaching me how to feel free to be myself, but to submit that self to what God is trying to teach me.

    3. My husband and I have diametrically opposed responses to these incidents. Sometimes, his passivity and ‘reaction-less’ (my own personal translation: wimpy, haha!) response is God’s gift to me, as it teaches me that wisdom looks a lot more like patience and love than my initial reaction of “Arm the NUKES!” At times, my strong sense of justice is God’s gift to him … because I am right (and he is wrong) that no one knows our children like we do and it IS our job to stand up for them when they’re in over their heads. So, these ‘mean kids’ are actually helping my marriage to become stronger, as I appreciate my husband’s aggravatingly better qualities, go figure! =)

    4. Lastly, these ‘mean kids’ are teaching me how to love the ‘unloveable’ … because that is really the ultimate gift Jesus has handed me with how He has treated me since the day I was conceived. I’ve actually been blessed by seeing my kids retaliate in anger towards these kids FEWER times … and just express their feelings of sadness or frustration MORE often. I LOVE your words of wisdom: Never EVER be the mean kid. Wow. You can bet that we will be quoting you around here in the next few days, as we take advantage of this course on Loving the Unloveable in this classroom of Life. Thank you, Sandy, for your courage and conviction. I’m sending you a high-five, all the way from Costa Rica. =) Yea, we get to live here. =)
    Marie recently posted..Confessions of an “I am – And yet” GirlMy Profile

  19. Your mean kid post brought me to your blog. I’ve been reading through some of your old posts. I really enjoy your writing and your insights. Even though I don’t believe in God, I can relate to a lot of what you write, especially about parenting, struggling with to-do lists and organization. Keep up the great work.
    Deborah Mitchell recently posted..Spring break? Travel blogs help you pack your bags.My Profile

  20. Diane says:

    I’m a little late to the conversation but I wanted to say a few things. First off great job on how you handled that kid being mean. Second we are Christians and we are supposed to be forgiving. But that does NOT mean stand by and let our kids get treated badly. Kids learn from example and its important for someone to stop bad behavior when we see it so it doesn’t continue. Also thank you for writing this. I will spare you the details but my son is in Christian school and is being picked on. One of the mothers of my sons classmates heard her son make several mean comments to my son and just gave me a dirty look in return. I’m so hurt by how this behavior is allowed to happen all year long by the kids and the parents themselves allow it. I wish I had said something to them but I didn’t. Thank you for writing this and empowering me to stand up for my children. Ironically I put my son in Christian school so he wouldn’t be bullied. I thought it would be a smaller school so it would be easier for him to make friends. But that is not the case. Its absolutely heartbreaking to see that hurt look on your child’s face after something like this happens. I wish there was something I could do. I will be giving him the same speech you gave your son.

  21. Diane says:

    The only thing necessary for evil to triumph is for good men to do nothing. Something to that effect. Good for you to stop someone from being a bully.

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