A few years ago, I read a little book by Gary Chapman called, The Five Love Languages. You may have heard of it. If you are one of the seven people in the world (including my husband) who have yet to read it, I just gotta tell ya, it will open your eyes to yourself and all the people around you. It’s one of those books that’s so basic, yet so profound. It has the potential to completely revolutionize a marriage.
So, imagine my excitement when my pastor’s wife decided to dedicate an entire teaching series to this book and the topic of Love Languages. Finally, Jon and I would have the marriage I always dreamed of. A marriage of mutual understanding. A marriage where we succeed at receiving and expressing love.
She sent us home from the first night of teaching with a simple assignment: Ask your spouse, “What can I do to show you that I love you?” Then write it down. And do it.
I was so stinkin’ excited. For the first time in like, EVER, we would have a real discussion about how to make each other happy. Seriously, what woman does not dream of connecting with her husband on a verbal level? It’s marriage nirvana, I tell you.
Being primarily a “Quality Time” girl, I could think of so many things Jon could do to express love to me, I had a hard time narrowing it down:
~ Call me if you’re going to be late—or better yet, don’t be late at all
~hug and kiss me hello BEFORE you start to open mail
~linger with me after dinner and ask about my day, even though you know it pretty much consists of wiping bottoms and folding laundry
~remember that the news paper and Sports Center are not invited to the dinner table
He wouldn’t need to write down my list, cuz I took the liberty to write it down for him, probably about 30 things. I’m not even kidding. I was so ready to take our relationship up a notch, and this question, “What can I do to show you that I love you?” was going to open the doors to wedded bliss.
So, armed with my list, a notebook and a pen (to be certain I took copious notes on whatever Jon said), I sat down with Jon to discuss love.
I could hardly contain myself and my list. I wanted to just bust out and say, “HERE’S MY LIST!!!!!” But I knew the loving thing would be to let Jon go first. So, I asked him, “Okay, what can I do to show you that I love you, Jon?”
“I don’t know.”
I knew he’d need a minute to gather his thoughts, so I coaxed a little. “C’mon, honey. Just tell me. What would make you feel more loved and secure in our relationship?”
“Buy me chips,” he said.
*blink. blink. blink.*
“Buy you chips? As in potato chips?”
“Yeah. You never buy chips and I like chips.”
Excuse me, but what the heck love language is “Buy Chips”? “That’s it. Buy you chips and you will be happy.”
“Yeah. Pretty much.”
So I wrote on my notebook, “Buy chips.” And I went to Publix the next day and bought chips. That was eight years ago. And I’m happy to say, I’m still a virtual Love Machine, what with all the chip-buying, and all.