6 Comments

  1. You know Sandy….this is something I've been thinking about lately.

    And I think this is something that makes many people who should adopt not adopt.

    This issue of love.

    This question, this fear of…

    What if I can't love this child as much as my biological child?

    And you know what I decided?

    It's not about me. It's about God giving us a chance to open our homes and our hearts to a child who needs to be loved. And that, I can do. I can love a child. And then it's about trusting that God will help me through any struggles I might face along the way.

    My friend adopted and I remember her saying this to me, "When God laid down the foundations of the earth, He knew William (her adopted son) was going to be my son, just like he knew my daughters (biological) were going to be my daughters."

    I think that's a beautiful truth.

    On another weird side note….when I first had Brogan – when I held him for the first time, I didn't get that overwhelming sense of love. I didn't cry or get emotional. I just remember thinking, "So this is who's been in my belly all these months." And also thinking, "Shew! I'm glad that's over." And my husband saying, "Wow, that was intense."

    Ha! For me, the bonding came the more I held my son and cared for my son. I believe the same would happen through adoption.

    Thank you SO much for sharing your experience. I am eating up every word.

  2. Katie: I agree that when we just take that first step of obedience, God is trustworthy to fill in all the places we lack…whether that be love or finances or whatever. Good insight.

    Also, I have heard many new moms say they did not bond with their bio newborns immediately. You are definitely not alone there!

  3. I have a 15 years old boy, been trying to get pregnant without
    Any success. Now came to my head to adopt a baby. Sometime
    I think about how I will feel with that baby, if I will love her the
    Same as my own son. Look like I will. Yes I want to adopt a baby
    Girl and give her all my love I have inside. If God doesn’t want me
    To have my own baby girl now, he have a plan for me. He want me
    To help that baby girl.
    How to start with all this?
    I can’t spend to much $$$$$ in this process.
    Help me and direct me how to do this.

    Thank you.

  4. We began early explaining it to our daughter (who is now 10) thus: God decided to bless Mommy and Daddy with our daughter but he got carried away making her so special and decided she could be a blessing to some others on her way to us so he put her in her birth mother’s tummy instead. Her birth mom had the choice to send her on to where God wanted her or to keep her and she really wanted to keep her because she was so special but because she had to think about what was good for our daughter, the birth mom spent a lot of time getting to know God better and learning what he wanted for both their lives. She actually ended up recommitting her life to God, (which is really good for my daughter to know since the young lady later died.) I tell my daughter that her birth mom carried her body, but I carried her heart. We also allow her to see us grieve the son we lost before she was born because his birth parents changed their minds after we had him home for 10 days. In fact, she grieves for the older brother she’s “supposed” to have too – similarly to the way I have known people to grieve over the loss of their birth siblings who came and went before them. God puts children with their own parents; sometimes he uses a substitute delivery system. 🙂 Furthermore, a while back I had one of those peri – menopausal blips that made me wonder for a few days if the long denied blessing of pregnancy was finally to be mine…and I actually wondered how I could possibly love any other child as much as I love my daughter.

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