I’m Doing Great on All My Resolutions, Except THIS ONE

It’s only January 11th and already I’ve had to dump one of my resolutions.

“Set aside some writing time each day, even if it’s just an hour.”

Remember that one from my list? It seems like a reasonable goal, doesn’t it? For a serious blogger, I mean. For someone who claims to be a writer and aspires to reach the masses with the messages God has given her. Just an hour a day. Not just reasonable, but necessary, almost. Right? Shoot, it should actually be MORE than an hour a day. An hour a day is nuthin.’

That’s what they’ll tell you at the big writer’s conferences. “Writer’s write daily.”

I am a writer. Therefore, I should also write daily.

IN FACT, I RESOLVE TO WRITE DAILY! ADD IT TO THE LIST!!!

Here’s the thing: I snuck that one in there. Yep. God specifically told me this is NOT The Year of The Blog; rather, it is The Year to Walk at the Children’s Pace. Yet, I decided that if I had time to learn how to use the new camera and try a new recipe each week and work out every day, and play dollhouse with my daughter, surely I should also find a little time each day to write.

Key words there being, “I decided.”

I knew it when I wrote it down. That God did not tell me to do it, I mean. I felt the little internal buzzer or red light or red flag or whatever you want to call it. And don’t you know, I plowed right through it and I set out to write every day last week, anyway. Yay me.

And guess what. It was a disaster. An utter disaster, I tell you. I felt stress and pressure and frustration all week long. I got behind on other things I KNEW God was asking me to do. Things He specifically told me should be my priority. Daily, I was throwing an internal fit because I had to go to the grocery store AND fold laundry AND play dollhouse with Elliana, but—sheesh!—I needed to write. I’m a writer, and writers write daily!

It wasn’t long before I was snapping at my husband and my kids because I was completely overwhelmed with all my responsibilities. Why? Because I was trying to carve out time each day to write.

It sounds like I blew the whole thing completely out of proportion, I know. And I’m sure there’s going to be one or two of my sweet readers, who probably have sanguine personalities, who will think I’m way too hard on myself and will quote a scripture to me about self-condemnation or freedom in Jesus or something. That’s cool. I can be a little hard on myself and can always use more scriptural reminders. Thank you, in advance, for that.

But hear me out. I’m not heaping condemnation on myself. At the risk of sounding, I don’t know…legalistic, I’m simply recognizing and reporting the fruit of disobedience.

The plain truth is, God never told me to write every single day for at least an hour. I knew it when I wrote it, and I wrote it anyway.

The stress, pressure and frustration were all the direct result of me focusing on something God specifically told me NOT to focus on. I am so thankful for the tender mercies of God that refused to allow me to move forward with my resolution to write.

See, God isn’t as concerned about how often I blog as much as He is concerned about the condition of my heart and the perfecting of my faith. By choosing to resolve to write daily, I am demonstrating to God that I do NOT trust Him with the growth of my blog, something He is repeatedly asking of me. To trust Him. Trust His timing. Trust His power. Trust His ability.

It’s funny, because I hear so many people confess they need faith to move, step out, or take a leap; whereas, I need faith to stand still. To NOT do. To NOT leap.

So, this week I’m scratching that resolution from my list. Instead, I’m considering that God has given me a few hours on Tuesdays and Fridays to write, while the older kids are at school and Elliana is at Mother’s Day Out. I can freely devote those hours to writing.

And sometimes, Jon likes to take the kids out for a few hours on the weekends to give me a break (God bless that man). I can freely devote those hours to writing, too.

No red lights or red flags in typing that.

And, if God gives me the gift of an hour here or there to write some more, then I will thank Him for the additional time and seize the opportunity. But I will not wake up every day scraping and clawing my way through my schedule, in order to squeeze out an hour of writing time.

Ahhhh…sweet peace.

Don’t worry, I’m not heaping condemnation on myself for missing it. And neither should you, when you miss it. We all miss it sometimes. I’m sharing this with you in hopes that you will examine your own life and your own goals and remember it is never too late—or too early—to dump a resolution.

So tell me, how are you doing on your resolutions? Is there anything you need to adjust or scratch from the list?