1. fear, pride… I knew the fear was there. A little blind sided by the pride, but after an honest look, it's there, too. I am caught right in the middle of all this people pleasing even as I read this tonight. I feel the need for boundaries and separation, not such an easy task with family I presume? I will continue to go to God for my "daily bread"… one day at a time, one situation at a time, one relationship at a time.

    Thanks, Sandy, for this series…

    I think. ;o)

  2. I'm an extreme T on the MBTI scale (are you familiar with it?), so I don't worry much about what people think, and I passed along that attitude toward my children who sometimes ran into problems, such as the principal who told my handicapped fairly popular daughter: "You just think you have friends. Most kids don't really want to play with cripples." My daughter was able to shrug it off with "he doesn't know what he is talking about" and "if he has trouble with having a handicapped kid in his school [he did not want any handicapped children in his school], it's his problem not mine" and "if some of the kids don't want to play with me, that's okay; there are plenty of other kids who do." It saved her sanity a lot, I think, knowing that it was not necessary to try to get people to like her. She could just be herself. (On the other hand, when I heard his comment, I confronted him, and he knew he was in trouble!)

    In business, if you try to please everyone all the time, you often end up pleasing no one at all. I teach this to new managers. The only one who can judge us is God, and that is indeed a liberating thought. The funny thing, though, is that once you stop trying to please people and follow God's rules, you garner a lot more respect as a by-product of worshipping God than you garner by trying to cultivate it as a direct product of your work. People notice. A priest I know often asks: "If someone knows you, would they want to know your God?" If your answer is yes, then you are listening to God and not to man. Thanks for the interesting posts.

  3. Sweet Sandy, WOWzer, what anointed insights! With most women I know, this is a HUGE area of concern. One I know nothing about of course. * cough *

    Seriously, well written, extremely well laid out and very practical. Hope the word gets out!


  4. WOW! What an awesome post. I especially loved the examples of how to say NO! I really needed that. But the whole post is overflowing with wonderful Biblical advice. Thanks!
    Found you through Laura Lee's RT and can't wait to keep up with you!

  5. Wow, wow, wow! Found you through Laura Lee and am so glad I did! I went back and read the series from the beginning. Nice of you to write a series just for me – LOL!

    This is wonderful and something that I have only recently realized is a problem and have been saying "no" a lot more over the last few months. I am currently stepping back from some volunteer duties to really focus on my household and homemaking, which is what I feel that God is wanting me to do. But of course I feel guilty and question whether I'm doing the right thing because we are supposed to serve!

    Thank you so much for all of your great advice!

  6. I love most of this but the thing I have an issue with is telling someone that you need to check with your husband when you are in reality just trying to buy yourself time. That is an out and out lie and I don't see God honoring that.

    I DO agree with the overall idea of creating distance and not being rushed, I just see no need to lie to do that. If someone is asking you to make a decision right then and there, either make the decision or explain to them God is dealing with you on making decisions to fast and you need to wait because God is working on you in that area but don't toss your husband under the bus.


  7. Dear Anonymous,

    Thanks so much for your comment. I appreciate your opinion…but just to clarify, I would never advocate lying to buy time. When I said those were my "auto responses" I meant that I really DO check my calendar or with my husband.

    You are right…I don't think God would honor lying in this situation.


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