A Letter from My Metabolism
I hate you. From henceforth, I shall cease burning calories and, instead, store everything you eat as fat.
Sincerely,
Your Metabolism
I received the preceding letter last week. It first came as a voice in my head. But after further inquiry, my metabolism confirmed the voice in writing, plain as day. I suspected something had gone awry between me and my metabolism when my jeans started getting tight. At first, I blamed my dryer. Turns out the dryer was completely innocent.
I have to admit, I’m partly in shock and partly in denial over the whole fat-storing thing. But reality hit me square in the face last week when I stepped on the scale and saw that I had reached an all-time high. Other than being pregnant or just giving birth, I have never weighed that much. I’d like to think I just stepped on the scale funny. But no matter how I positioned myself, (leaning forward, leaning backward, jumping up and down, handstand, throwing the scale against the wall) it still read the same. For three days straight. I suspected it was broken, until I found out that it was working just fine for my husband, who’s at an all-time LOW. What EVER. (Do you think it’s possible I’m gaining HIS weight?)
I mean, I eat well. I exercise. I get proper rest and eat lots of organic stuff. What’s up?
Lots of things, actually. And no, I’m not pregnant. Let’s take a look:
1. In August, I went on a 40-day fast (completely for spiritual reasons), during which time I refrained from eating meat, dairy, sugar and grains. I did eat fruits, vegetables, beans and nuts. And I ate quite a bit, actually. I thought that would be enough to sustain my metabolism, but my metabolism thought otherwise. I have gained ten pounds in less than two months, just since coming off that fast. YIKES!!
2. Also during that fast, I continued to work out, but I did not do heavy weight-lifting. Big mistake. The loss of muscle mass greatly reduced the efficiency of my metabolism. The combination of adding all those foods back into my diet and the loss of muscle was a recipe for massive fat storage.
3. As much as I’d like to think otherwise, I’m getting older. I’m 41 years old. I can’t even say that with a straight face. I feel 27. Today, I actually almost told someone I was 37. Not because I wanted to lie, but because I forget sometimes how old I am. I also forget why I walk into certain rooms of my house, and then I stand there staring into space until I remember why I’m there. Further evidence that I am, in fact, getting old. Anyway, with age comes a slower metabolism. One of my friends on Facebook recently said that when she was in her 20’s, if she would have eaten and worked out like she does now, she would have been skinny as a rail. Ditto that! I can’t believe how hard I have to work to maintain my weight the older I get. Though, I have to admit, slinging a heavy back pack over my shoulder and walking miles and miles around a college campus everyday is nothing to sneeze at. Which is exactly what I did in my 20’s.
Speaking of sneezing, did you hear about that poor 12-year-old girl who can’t stop sneezing? She sneezes up to 16 times per MINUTE! All day long!! Read about it here, but come right back. I still need to talk to you.
4. I hit a fitness plateau. I got bored with my work out routine and simply fell into a system that was comfortable. So comfortable, in fact, that my body adjusted to it and stopped burning calories efficiently. Bummer.
5. I’ve stopped pushing myself hard. I’ve cut myself a lot of slack lately with my work outs. I just do it to get it done and move on to the next thing. There are no goals. No challenges. And thus, no change.
6. I’ve let myself indulge more than usual. Eating foods I could not eat during my fast, not because I’m hungry but just because I can. And don’t even get me started on Halloween candy or the night I was in charge of the cookie table at the Open House for my children’s school. What a nightmare. In a delicious and indulgent sort of way.
Bottom line is this: even Fitness Friday Girl is not exempt from fitness plateaus and unwanted pounds. If there’s one thing that keeps me humble is that God did not make me genetically skinny AND I really, really love to eat. Honestly, there are dozens of things that keep me humble. But I’m only fessing up to those right now.
On the other hand, I refuse to give in to these ten pounds or any other ten pounds that try to creep up on my body. Since last week, when the dreaded number showed up on my scale, I have turned over a new leaf (which is really just the same old leaf I’ve turned over time and time again–but hasn’t been turned over for quite some time.)
I’ve gotten serious about my work outs. I’ve pushed myself so hard that I’ve had to take Tylenol for muscle soreness twice in the last three days. I’ve started keeping a food journal again. And I signed up today for a full year with a personal trainer. Yes ma’am, I did.
The good news is, the trainer took me through an advanced work out and said I had excellent form. She showed me some really cool things to do with an exercise ball–which I never use at home. She kicked my butt today. I was whipped after only about 25 minutes with her. The bad news is my body fat percentage is 27!!! What in the WORLD?? Last time I had it taken (7 years ago) it was 18!!!!!!! And to think I was blaming my dryer for my tight jeans.
I have a lot of work to do, readers, but I’m confident I’ll get there. Next week, I’ll share with you some of the goals I’m setting for myself and how I plan to reach them, specifically with the trainer now helping me.
Now I need to go and give my dryer a hug. On my way there, I’m going to throw my scale against the wall, just for kicks. That is, if I don’t forget why I walked into that room in the first place.
Did you lose weight while on the 40day fast? My metabolism was fine until the last few years. How can one be 5'5", weigh 110 lbs.(slightly more or less on any day)
& the jeans are too tight. Nope,it's not the dryer. My #1 laundry rule is to NEVER put my jeans in the dryer. When I was your age my body fat was 10.7%. I had to start taking a RX regularly & it went up to 12.?%. If yours is 27%, I don't think that I even want to know what mine is now. BTW, doesn't that fall in the normal range for a woman?(in that age group)Don't be too hard on yourself, you look fantastic! Of course, I was devastated when my body fat changed. LoL! I was never told about how much wound change when I got older. Recently one of my K/6 kids ask me if my pic on my badge was when I was older:D Yup, a lot has changed in four short years. And I knew that he meant when I was younger. Sigh… BuT GoD has given me much:)))))))
Thanks Sandy! I really needed to read this, laugh and more than anything else RELATE!!!!!
I was wondering myself how it is that I am not eating all the junk I was eating 6 months ago, no diet pepsi for 6 WHOLE MONTHS, organic food and well a little indulgence with the halloween candy but not that much — just some sweet tarts and jaw breakers (I eat what no one else likes). how is it that my clothes is tighter? Argh!!!! And I promise, I have not eaten a key lime pie nor had a can of pringles.
I, too, enter rooms and have no idea how I got there or why I was even there in the first place. Sometimes, I enter the room and say, "geez, where am I?" And then realize, "oh, yeah, this is my kitchen and I came here to take my million vitamins for mental clarity".
I would love to workout with a trainer. I have thought long and hard how I could manage it with my schedule. I actually fantasize about it at work while my butt is getting bigger and I keep eyeing the candy bin — which requires exercise to go to.
I have to do something. I refuse to buy bigger clothes. Which means, that I will start to look really really funny soon if I don't do something. That stuffed sausage look is not really flattering. And bulging muffin tops is not the latest fashion must have.
So bring on the tips and I hope you do well. Yes, give your dryer a hug and kick your scale a couple times for me.
YOU are hilarious!!! You put into words all my thoughts. Two weeks ago, I got on the scale and weighed higher than ever too…(really—one day it was up 2 lbs and the next it was down–no, I didn't have any reason to fluctuate that day) but I told John and he said–something is not right…then he stepped on and said the dreaded—nope, I weigh this every day!!! YIKES…so I am exercising again! and the eating well—it's a struggle of my flesh!!!! REALLY!!
Cheers to your trainer–how fun!!
Thanks for the post—I feel the same—and I don't even have a dryer to blame—I think the air must have shrunk mine–haha!!
I enjoyed your post. I wrote my post for Fitness Friday. Doylene
I wanted to say what a sweet Christian spirit you show by allowing other to copy things on your blog. I always wonder when I see warning about coping things on a Christian blog. It seems they would want their posts copied so more people can see then and help spread the gospel. Thanks, Doylene
I linked up today! finally.
I will be sending many your way, Lord willing. And I will be back to read your letter from your metabolism. jeje
big hugs
Dani Joy
Sandy, I loved this post! And frankly, I can so identify. I understand that darn metabolism. I am at my highest weight of my life. I need to lose 15 pounds but for me that's a lot. I know lots of people who have much to lose think that's nothing but I've always been consistent in exercising and eating healthy. Until recently …
Thanks for your honesty and transparency. And best of all you do it with such humor. I need that right now.
Love you,
Debbie
Hang in there… everyone hits these points!
I laughed out loud at the scale thing. When I came back from having my surgery and weighed myself the next morning, I swear I got off and back on it at least 10 times… I even got my 5 lb dumbell and put it on there to see if it was currect. I had gained 10 lbs in water weight from the IV… at least it all went away.
You are so funny!
I love your honesty and stuff. You are so real 🙂
The other day…I was watching the Dr.Oz show…and he said that while it is true that your metabolism slows down as you get older….it is also true that an 18 year old and a 60 year old have the same endurance. So while its harder to burn off those calories as we age….it is good to know that we still have our stamina 🙂 I thought that was interesting!
Have a GREAT weekend, Fitness Friday Girl!
Hugs,
Kate 🙂
Sandy,
While you're at it, couldn't hurt to have your thyroid checked.
I'm getting older, too, and my weight is definitely the highest it's ever been in my life. Sigh. I have no excuse, though, since I hate to exercise.
Sandy, you just have such a way of writing that draws me in! Love it!
I totally can relate. I unfortunately believed a lie that I couldn´t get back to the way I was, but will believe that lie no longer. We don´t have to succumb to the fat. PTL.
I would like to get my body fat tested.
I have people telling me though now that I am too thin. which I know isn´t true but it gets me thinking. Had someone tell me today that my face is getting gaunt. I still weight 130lbs. what´s up with that. I weighed 117 in college and no one ever told me my face was gaunt!! Oh and I had someone tell me I was obsessed with my weight now. Why? Just because I want to be my best for the service of the Lord, my family and myself?
Ok.. there´s my vent. Thanks for linking me up.
oh about the water. I had signs of water intoxication this week. I started Jillian Michael´s peaking diet last WEd. Drank 3 liters of water with a little grean tea in some and then cran. juice in another liter. Well, by WEd. night I had a head ache. by Thurs. I was nausious and white as a ghost. slept 4 extra hours, but the preasure in my head and the nausia wouldn´t go away. Any ideas? I did a lot of reading on water intoxication and believe I had a touch of it. But Sarah says she drinks 5 L. a day. and normal water intoxication happens when a person drinks it all at once.
Thanks, Sandy and I pray your New old leaf stays turned! 🙂
Cruchin´it with ya,
Dani Joy