This morning I’m a bundle of emotions, as I send my Used-to-be- Little Bundle off to her first day of middle school. Oh, how I long for my sweet girl to thrive in every possible good and godly way. And oh, how ill-equipped I feel for this sure-to-be whirlwind journey.
Babies, toddlers and preschoolers? I’m all over that. I’ve soothed, nurtured, fed, wiped, taught and effectively disciplined four of them. They are my specialty. But this beautiful young lady who is walking around my house texting her friends while simultaneously listening to her i-pod and updating her Facebook profile picture to show off her new haircut and make-up? Well, I’m not quite sure how to NOT screw her up.
I’ve never been more aware of time swiftly passing as I am right now at this moment. As the saying goes, the days have been long, but the years—they have been so very fast. And suddenly, I wonder if I’ve prayed enough, done enough, said enough, been enough. I’m painfully aware of every way I’ve failed my family.
And so before dawn, I approach God’s throne, with tears in my eyes and a lump in my throat, asking Him to fill in all the empty and broken places in my children’s hearts. I ask for a flood of wisdom, patience and grace as I navigate my way through this new season. I purpose to cling to His word and His cross. I promise to humble myself daily before Him, so He can be exalted in me and in my family. I am confident, though I have no earthly clue how to do this, He will lead and direct me every single day.
And then, desperate for a word from God, I open to Psalm 16 and read this:
Keep me safe, O God,
for in you I take refuge.
I said to the LORD, “You are my Lord;
apart from you I have no good thing.”
As for the saints who are in the land,
they are the glorious ones in whom is all my delight…
LORD, you have assigned me my portion and my cup;
you have made my lot secure.
The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places;
surely I have a delightful inheritance.
I will praise the LORD, who counsels me;
even at night my heart instructs me.
I have set the LORD always before me.
Because he is at my right hand,
I will not be shaken.
Therefore my heart is glad and my tongue rejoices;
my body also will rest secure,
because you will not abandon me to the grave,
nor will you let your Holy One see decay.
You have made known to me the path of life;
you will fill me with joy in your presence,
with eternal pleasures at your right hand.
You’ve been awfully quiet lately…What is God saying to you?