9 Things I’m Doing to Stay Balanced Right Now
The first full month of school is in my rearview mirror. And I can honestly say, it’s taken every bit of the last 30 days to successfully transition. Moving from Loosey-Goosey-Sticky-Summer to the Rhythm-Routine-School-Schedule is difficult, even for a girl like me, who THRIVES in rhythm and routine.
Here are a few things (some old and some new) that I’m doing to stay balanced during this busy school season.
1. I’m Setting A Lot of Timers.
Remember when I talked about my Facebook addiction? Turns out, it’s impossible to stay addicted to something when you only designate a whopping 15 minutes a day to it.
Seriously. I think I’m fully recovered.
Timers aren’t only for social media, though. I’m setting timers for anything and everything that feels daunting and overwhelming. (Think housework) Many-a-night, I’d crawl into bed trying to recall what I accomplished that day. Where did the hours go? No more. Setting timers is helping me spend the hours intentionally. Plus, it always surprises me what I’m able to accomplish when I’m racing against a clock. In fact, I’m racing against one now. It’s a physical reminder that if I stay focused and keep my rear end in the chair, I might create something helpful for you.
2. I’m Filling My Mind With God’s Word.
This, not the timer, is the real reason I’ve become indifferent to Facebook. After I wrote this post, I decided that every time I’m tempted to check social media or emails, I will first (or instead!) read a few verses or a few chapters of the Bible. I leave my Bible open on my kitchen counter, next to my phone. Well, on top of my phone, actually. Amazing how, after I’ve taken a few minutes to let God speak to me, the urge to see if someone “liked my status” loses its impact. (Saying that out loud sounds even more bizarre than thinking it.)
I realize I cannot even begin to comprehend the life-changing and long-term benefits of this practice, but I have already noticed a few. First, I feel more centered and peaceful and clear-headed. And second, God’s wisdom is at the forefront of my mind whenever I’m facing a personal challenge or need to counsel a child—which is pretty much all the time.
I mean, really, funny cat videos will only get you so far in parenting wisdom.
3. I’m Writing Everything Down.
I’ve always proclaimed the importance of this, but even I, The Keeper of All Lists, go through times where I wing it and hope for the best. This Fall, winging it is simply not an option. I am the parent of two busy teens and a second-grader, all of whom have full homework, extra-curricular and social calendars. On top of that, my husband is a busy hospital president and triathlete. And we are building a house. Which means, we will soon be selling a house. And also, moving.
It’s so much.
Anything memory-worthy immediately goes from my brain onto a list or the calendar. I also have a morning checklist to remind me who needs library books, what day we are carpooling, and who needs an extra snack for Cross Country, as well as All The Other Things I Need To Remember. It’s incredibly liberating to release this information from my brain onto actual paper. Then, I can free my brain to think thoughts. Not lists.
4. I’m Dealing With Emails Immediately.
This summer, I cleaned out my inbox. In one sitting, I deleted over 10,000 emails and unsubscribed from every life-sucking email list. At that moment, I vowed to forever keep my emails under control and spend as little time as possible lingering there. Sometimes I respond quickly from my phone, but mostly, I’m setting a timer and processing them at night or first thing in the morning.
5. I’m Planning Meals and Preparing Dinner Early.
Serving my family healthy, home-cooked dinners is a high priority for me. And the only way I can pull it off with our busy schedule is to plan my meals, shop from my meal plan and prepare as much as I can while the kids are at school. The Crock Pot is my new BFF.
6. I’m Getting Myself Completely Ready Before I Get the Kids From School.
Making sure I’ve prayed, blogged, exercised, showered, shopped and socialized during the school hours leaves me free in the evenings to be completely present with my kids, which is the most important thing to me in this season of life. That means, I don’t leave any of my personal things for the evening. No dinner with girlfriends. No evening runs. No after school phone conversations or texting. If it’s about me, I handle it while my family is away.
(I realize many of you don’t have this option. You are working outside the home or homeschooling during school hours. If I worked outside the home or homeschooled, I would need to come up with a different plan, too. I’m not saying this is the only way. I’m just saying this is what I need to do to make this season of life work for my family. You will need to seek God’s wisdom for your life and your season.)
7. I’m Saying No to Good Things.
Yes, the Thursday night skating party would be fun. As would the fundraiser and the home-décor party and the neighborhood yard sale and the Women’s Ministry Connect Groups and the seminar and the Band Booster Meeting.
I’m sorry, but no thank you.
Every “yes” to one of those things means I’m stretching myself a little thinner. Every “yes” to one of those things means I become more brittle and anxious. Every “yes” to one of those things means a “no” to something else more important to me right now. No offense, but I’m choosing my “yeses” and “nos” wisely and intentionally.
8. I’m Doing As Much As I Can Before I Go To Bed.
Packing lunches, setting out clothes for the next day, stuffing backpacks, signing permission slips and school papers, and getting the coffee pot ready. All that happens before I shut my eyes for the night. And makes for much more peaceful mornings, by the way.
9. I’m Reading Life-Giving Books in Bed.
I always read at night. But I haven’t always been picky about what I read. Sometimes, I’d get lost in a good novel. Sometimes, I’d read a parenting book or a marriage book or self-help (aka, all the ways I need to improve myself) book. Or maybe a fitness magazine or a cooking magazine or a stack of catalogues. Whatever was on my nightstand, that was what I’d read. But I realized that not all reading material promotes restful sleep. For example, when I read parenting books, I spend the whole night fitfully worrying about my children and all the ways I need to be a better Mom. Or, if I look through furniture or house décor catalogues, I toss and turn over all the things I need to do to get our house ready to sell or get the new one ready to inhabit. So, I’ve become highly selective about my nighttime reads. I still read that other stuff, I choose to do it during the day or on the weekends, instead of at night before bed. (BTW, I just finished, for the second time, Bread and Wine by Shauna Niequist. I think it’s one of my favorite nighttime reads ever. It also has outstanding recipes, which I am determined to make–each and every one. And, also, I want to buy it for all my friends.)
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You and I are clearly sisters! My sanity-saving, balance-keeping ways are exactly the same as yours! Except for the whole Facebook/Bible thing. But it’s a good one. Really good. I need to consider changing my FB time-sucking ways.
Also, I just LOVE me a good book! (Do you read much Karen Kingsbury? I know some have grown tired of the endless Baxter family books, but I just read her new book “Angels Walking” in 24 hours, and I wept through half of it. Every book she writes reminds me of how intimately concerned God is with all the details of my life.)
We have always known about our Sisterhood. No surprises there.
I have not read much Christian fiction at all. I tried it once or twice years ago, and have always been disappointed at the quality. Maybe I just haven’t found the right author. So…Karen Kingsbury?
Sandy, I use those strategies as well; except, I am awful at email and I don’t leave my Bible out. It sounds like a small great idea though for staying in the Word! 🙂
I live by my lists, and my favorite list app is called “color note”. I like.it better than evernote. I use color note on my kindle to keep track of 95% of my life (to do lists, bills to pay, progress on goals, recipes, meal planning, projects, shopping lists). I even have 2 list templates for recurring things so I don’t have to type the list from scratch each time. It does help me “put it out of.my mind” to know the lists are stored in my other “brain”.
Love your blog. Keep it coming!
I will have to check out Color Note. I am a paper girl, but I think it’s mainly because I haven’t found a virtual alternative that works for me.
Leaving my Bible out has made all the difference for me. It is a visual reminder. I think I read the Word much more than I actually do. This helps me have a steady diet of it in my day.
Oh, how I love this post, Scoop!!! 🙂
Here’s what peaked me to respond:
1. Timers! I will admit that I LOVE watching T.V…. all the while I very much dislike being unproductive. So, I find that if I just do housework during commercials… i can watch THREE shows and in the mean time gotten in 66 minutes of house work done. Also… a tad bit of cardio as 2 minutes is FAST!!! (swap laundry, make a bed, windex the bathroom, wipe it down during next commercial break…)
2. Lists!!! Melissa LOVES lists!!! It does free up my brain and removes my: “Holy crud what did I forget” dreams! 🙂
3. I clean out my emails twice a year. Currently I have 1202. Might be time!!!
4. I agree that it is much easier to shop, prep, cook and clean up without people around me. It is more pleasant for me, and for them as well when I try to explain WHY WHY WHY a reduction takes 20 minutes!!! ha!
5. No to good things. I have decided this year to NOT try out for Master Chef. It’s been a big year and I’m simply not feeling it. My parents are gone from me (meaning not in my back yard. I’ve had to move on my own. I’m just getting settled and having some nice trips with the man in my life. I’m just not feeling the “Eye of the Tiger” right now and spending that weekend at home (and I live in PARADISE) is a bigger draw. I LOVED last year and meeting the foodies and competing and learning new techniques… but I’m VERY happy to not participate this year and just spend the weekend at home, on the beach, with my people. 🙂
This was a great one, Scoop. Thanks for all you do!
Much love!
*Pasta
Pasta, I remember before the days of DVRs and VCRs, my mom would watch TV in the evenings and do the exact same thing you describe. She’d run in the kitchen during commercials and wash 10 dishes. I also remember her setting up the ironing board in front of The Young and the Restless.
I did that for a short time when I first became a stay at home mom…until I decided I hated ironing and refused to do it at all. And then I stopped watching Soaps.
I love you, friend.
I’m always looking for a good read! And thanks for the balance ideas. This is something I’m sure all busy moms struggle with.
Thanks, Heather!
I am here because while sitting in the doctor’s waiting room scanning my emails, I thought to myself, “Maybe if I made cool lists like Sandy I could be balanced too ” That and I really want the book!
Haha! I never thought of my lists as “cool.” But I will now.
My youngest just headed off to Kindergarten and I’m finding I’m wasting my afternoons away while the kids are in school. Your suggestions will be helpful as I find the routine and balance in my afternoons!
Tracie, it may take awhile to get into the groove. Sending that youngest one off to kindergarten is a huge transition. Suddenly, you feel like you have endless hours. Except you don’t. Praying for God’s wisdom in using your alone time well.
Good to have you back on the blog!
DONNA!!! I was just thinking about you. Thank you for letting me know you are still alive and well. 🙂
His Sandy,
I am so glad I read this today. And I’m so glad I waited until I was sitting at home for a quiet few minutes, instead of reading it while waiting in line at Walmart. God used this post to specifically speak to me about a decision I am facing. And I am grateful. Thank you.
Oh, COOL!!! I love when God uses something I’ve written to speak to someone. Thank you for telling me.
I need to implement #7. Some weeks I’m at my church 3 nights (Bible study, choir practice, board meeting or ensemble practice). And that’s in addition to Sunday morning church. It takes me 20 – 25 minutes to get there. It rushes me in the afternoons and dinner on those nights is usually quick or something late in the evening. I don’t like that at all.
That’s a tough one. I will pray God will release you from some of those things or help you get creative in your planning so you don’t feel rushed and stressed.
I am a timer and list girl, too! (I have my to-do list right in front of me as I am typing 😉
These are all great implementations…..thanks for the look into your life, I love your real-ness, as always!
Blessings, sweet friend 🙂
I love that you always show up here. Thanks for your friendship and encouragement.
Sandy, thank you for your insights. I have a tendency to say “yes” to too much, making myself crazy. Thanks for the reminders of things I already knew to do, but have fallen out of the habit, and a few new ideas. You’ve blessed me. 🙂
Thanks, Alicia. We all need reminders of things we know to do, but fail to practice. I mostly write all this stuff down for me and then hope it applies to someone else, too. 🙂
I had 10 minutes yesterday, waiting for something to come out of the oven. I thought I could empty the dishwasher during that time. It only took 2 minutes, even putting the stuff away! In the full 10 minutes, I tidied the whole kitchen! It is amazing what focused effort will to in such a short time.
I’ve managed to keep my house a lot neater by breaking it in to zones and only cleaning one zone at a time.
Planning is a marvelous thing.
Lori
Zone cleaning is a great plan! I love my house clean from top to bottom, but it’s completely unrealistic to think I could ever accomplish it or keep it that way. Breaking it into smaller jobs always works for me.
Hi Sandy. I found your blog because I googled how do you care about kids who are mean to your kids. I am wanting to be more like Christ and thinking bad thoughts about sixth grade girls and eighth grade girls was not doing it! 🙂 Thanks for sharing your experiences and thoughts. I’m still struggling in this area and I’m praying that my heart would follow the godly wisdom and common sense that my comes from my head. Anyway, I clicked on your homepage and read a little more about you. Your bio cracks me up and encourages me. Thanks for sharing! I’ll be back…with a set timer of course! 😉
Audra, I am so glad Google led you here.
Great advice. I’m always looking for ways to make my days run smoother and get more organized. Also I love to read a great book! Thanks!
Thanks, Nancy!
These are such awesome, life-giving suggestions, Sandy. And the reason I love you so. So happy for you and all you have going on right now!
Thanks, Shelly. Just FYI, I think of you often and am so glad we are friends.
I am really trying to be much more organized this year with school stuff! I have gotten away from writing things on the home calendar and missed several things last year. I used to be so good about birthdays, anniversaries and little things. I am spending the extra five minutes to make sure I write everything down-not on a random piece of paper-but in the correct spot so I can stay on track. It’s been 2 weeks so far and I am feeling good, still. That is a good sign! I am also sticking with my meal planning which is a wonderful thing! After working and running home to my 3 boys on 3 different football teams with different practice schedules, we are in the season of late dinners and short conversations. However, I want to make sure they are eating better than hot pockets and pizza rolls everyday. Yet, sometimes that still happens. I have given myself permission to not worry about it too much and do the best I can in the moment 🙂
I have this little voice that always says, “you don’t need to write that down.” Every time I listen to that stupid little voice, I regret it. Now I just tell that little voice, “Shut up.” It sounds like you are on top of things this Fall, Jen! I’m always so impressed with how you pull it off. You are amazing.
This post is helping me to see that even though transition for me may seem hard, there are things i can do to make it easier and a positive transition. My daughter lives with my sister and her family, and my house is about to go on the market. My daughter’s wish is for me to enjoy life and do things I’ve always wanted to do, but began to go into a deep depression. The truth was, i didn’t know how to deal with the transition of carrying such a heavy load for so long, to not having the responsibility of carrying such a load and truley enjoying life. Now I see there are ways to make this transition work such write things down, feed myself with the Scriptures, and for me, plan for the future and do simple pleasures for myself. Thank you for such a wonderful blog.
Awww….Tammie. I *heart* you.
You didn’t specify the timezone for the cutoff…it’s 9:40pm CST right now…hope I made it :)! love your post on Mean Kid. The push-up contest cracked me up. I do CrossFit and admit to having thoughts that it will make Mean Kid think twice before messing with my 11 yr very Nice Kid. Thanks for the tips on balance. Now if I could only remember to write stuff down…:)
Oops! You’re right, I didn’t specify! Yes, you made it. 🙂
Oh, and CrossFit…I finally tried that for the first time a few weeks ago. I’m not even kidding when I tell you those squats with the weighted bar? They KILLED my thighs. I couldn’t walk for several days. And I’m in really good shape. CrossFit is a whole different level. If I was a Mean Kid, I would NOT mess with a CrossFit Mamma.
Excellent write-up. I certainly love this site. Thanks!