The truth may be out there, but the lies are inside your head.
Terry Pratchett, author
Lately, I’ve been paying special attention to the voice inside my head. Have you ever done this? Truly listened to your self-talk? I’m not sure I recommend it, because, quite frankly, it’s driven me a little batty. But, it has been revealing, nonetheless.
For example, the first conscious thought I hear upon waking is I didn’t get enough sleep. It doesn’t matter if I slept six hours or ten, the very first thought is that it was NOT ENOUGH and, therefore, I need more rest.
My next conscious thought is, When can I sleep next? Can I nap today? Do I get to go to bed early tonight? Can I sleep in tomorrow?
I’m telling you, this is every morning, without fail.
Then I press the snooze and sleep for 10 more minutes—as if that’s going to help my alleged sleep deprivation.
Then I get up.
Once I shuffle my sleepy-self out of bed and into the bathroom, I start thinking through my daily To-Do List. Inevitably, the third conscious thought that bombards my brain is, I don’t have enough time. No matter if I have six things to do that day or ten, my brain has established that I do not, under any circumstances, have enough time to do it.
So, basically, by 5:40 am, before I’ve even brushed my teeth or brewed my coffee, I’m convinced that I’m deficient in both sleep and time, and therefore, will be unable to adequately complete the tasks before me, no matter how many or how few. Period.
But here’s the thing: That belief that I don’t have enough? It’s a big, fat lie.
In fact, this is the first in a series of many, many big, fat lies that invade my brain all day, every day as a Mom. If you’re a Mom, they invade your Mom Brain, too. Some of them are so deeply ingrained, so familiar, so a part of who we think we are, they often go undetected.
And that’s when the lie becomes most dangerous.
I’m telling you a lie in a vicious effort that you will repeat my lie over and over until it becomes true.
When I’m not careful, lies become true to me.
When they become true to me, I behave differently–as if they are true.
And when I behave as if lies are true, I move through life heavy, overwhelmed, burdened and bound.
And that is why I’m writing this series. Because the well-balanced woman is not heavy, overwhelmed, burdened and bound. A well-balanced woman moves through life unhindered and free.
For the next few weeks, I’m going to discuss some Popular Mom Lies. I’m going to explain where the lie originates and how to expel it. I’ll start with the lie of “I don’t have enough” and tell you the Truth about that.
And then I’ll continue with more Lies, like
• “Everyone has it together but me” (This is the one kept me bound for years!)
• “Good moms do crafts/cook from scratch/play with blocks on the floor/fill in the blank, but I don’t do that. So, I’m not a good mom” (I bet you have a version of this one in your head right now.)
• “I’m the emotional thermostat of the home.”
• “If it works for that family, it should work for mine, too.”
• “I can gauge how well I’m doing my job by how happy/compliant my kids are.”
• “It is my responsibility to make every meal/holiday/vacation magical and memorable.”
• “Parenting shouldn’t be this hard.”
And more, as I think of them. Which I will, because the lies that invade my brain are ruthless. RUTHLESS, I tell you!
I’ve asked some of my favorite Mom-Blogger friends to join in the discussion and help me tackle a few of these by sharing some lies they’ve believed. I’m excited to publish some great guest posts.
By the end of this series, I want you to see
You are not alone. The lies we believe as Moms are universal.
You are not weak. Everyone is vulnerable to believing lies.
You are not hopeless. For every Mommy Lie there is Truth to set you free.
I can’t wait to dive in.
Coming up next: What (or Who) is behind these lies?