Exposing the Lies Moms Believe: A New Series
The truth may be out there, but the lies are inside your head.
Terry Pratchett, author
Lately, I’ve been paying special attention to the voice inside my head. Have you ever done this? Truly listened to your self-talk? I’m not sure I recommend it, because, quite frankly, it’s driven me a little batty. But, it has been revealing, nonetheless.
For example, the first conscious thought I hear upon waking is I didn’t get enough sleep. It doesn’t matter if I slept six hours or ten, the very first thought is that it was NOT ENOUGH and, therefore, I need more rest.
My next conscious thought is, When can I sleep next? Can I nap today? Do I get to go to bed early tonight? Can I sleep in tomorrow?
I’m telling you, this is every morning, without fail.
Then I press the snooze and sleep for 10 more minutes—as if that’s going to help my alleged sleep deprivation.
Then I get up.
Once I shuffle my sleepy-self out of bed and into the bathroom, I start thinking through my daily To-Do List. Inevitably, the third conscious thought that bombards my brain is, I don’t have enough time. No matter if I have six things to do that day or ten, my brain has established that I do not, under any circumstances, have enough time to do it.
So, basically, by 5:40 am, before I’ve even brushed my teeth or brewed my coffee, I’m convinced that I’m deficient in both sleep and time, and therefore, will be unable to adequately complete the tasks before me, no matter how many or how few. Period.
But here’s the thing: That belief that I don’t have enough? It’s a big, fat lie.
In fact, this is the first in a series of many, many big, fat lies that invade my brain all day, every day as a Mom. If you’re a Mom, they invade your Mom Brain, too. Some of them are so deeply ingrained, so familiar, so a part of who we think we are, they often go undetected.
And that’s when the lie becomes most dangerous.
I’m telling you a lie in a vicious effort that you will repeat my lie over and over until it becomes true.
When I’m not careful, lies become true to me.
When they become true to me, I behave differently–as if they are true.
And when I behave as if lies are true, I move through life heavy, overwhelmed, burdened and bound.
And that is why I’m writing this series. Because the well-balanced woman is not heavy, overwhelmed, burdened and bound. A well-balanced woman moves through life unhindered and free.
For the next few weeks, I’m going to discuss some Popular Mom Lies. I’m going to explain where the lie originates and how to expel it. I’ll start with the lie of “I don’t have enough” and tell you the Truth about that.
And then I’ll continue with more Lies, like
• “Everyone has it together but me” (This is the one kept me bound for years!)
• “Good moms do crafts/cook from scratch/play with blocks on the floor/fill in the blank, but I don’t do that. So, I’m not a good mom” (I bet you have a version of this one in your head right now.)
• “I’m the emotional thermostat of the home.”
• “If it works for that family, it should work for mine, too.”
• “I can gauge how well I’m doing my job by how happy/compliant my kids are.”
• “It is my responsibility to make every meal/holiday/vacation magical and memorable.”
• “Parenting shouldn’t be this hard.”
And more, as I think of them. Which I will, because the lies that invade my brain are ruthless. RUTHLESS, I tell you!
I’ve asked some of my favorite Mom-Blogger friends to join in the discussion and help me tackle a few of these by sharing some lies they’ve believed. I’m excited to publish some great guest posts.
By the end of this series, I want you to see
You are not alone. The lies we believe as Moms are universal.
You are not weak. Everyone is vulnerable to believing lies.
You are not hopeless. For every Mommy Lie there is Truth to set you free.
I can’t wait to dive in.
Coming up next: What (or Who) is behind these lies?
For Part One: The Source, The Susceptible and The Savior, click here
Sounds like a great series – can’t wait!
Thanks, Sheila. 🙂
Yes please! I need this!! I’ve never even thought about what I think about in those first few minutes of consciousness…..
I need it, too. We’ll walk through it together. 🙂
I’m so excited! And I never thought about the lie of the sleep/not enough time thing. I wake up the same (anxious!) way every day. I thought it was just me 😉 Though I DO love the days I can sneak a nap in…..
Looking so forward to your insights – you always have great ones:)
Not everything about that is a lie–sometimes I do need a nap. And on those days, I gladly indulge. (But don’t you just hate that anxious feeling, first thing in the morning???–It’s bondage.)
I can’t wait!
Just today at my women’s bible study, we were talking about the vicious path of negative self talk, the need to hurry all the time, the pressure to look good in front of others, etc etc etc.
Coming home and reading this I immeadiately sent it to my group. “I think God is trying to tell us something” I said. My favorite response so far is this, from my sweet new friend Beth “Was she sitting at the next table, listening to our conversation?”
I think this series is a great idea. Not only because we all have these lies in our heads. But because we have the Power to overcome them. And we need to be reminded to tap into that Power. I’m excited to see what God has in store for us.
Thanks Sandy, for so often being His hands and feet in my life 🙂
That is very cool. I love when God confirms something He is saying to me through other people. I’m really honored I can be that for you.
This is just what I needed to hear this morning as I have a “situation” about to walk right into my home. I need to know I can tell myself something different – something that will enable and empower me to get out from under the layers of yesterday’s experience in a relationship and make a new, truthful start. I may need lots of prayer and the discipline to choose a better way.
The Truth = Peace. I will pray for you.
Sounds really good Sandy, not yet a mummy but can definitely relate to some of what you have said.
Stick around. I’m sure there will be lots you can relate to, mom or not. 🙂
Thanks Sandy =) Several months ago I went into a deep depression– panic attacks and all due to extreme stress and anger, resurfaced childhood wounds, emotional and spiritual anguish, etc.. Anyway, I had ZERO good feelings. I felt totally numb really, as if all connections to my heart were unplugged. Although it caused me tremendous fear because I could not sense God’s presence AT ALL, it also allowed some necessary “brain surgery”.
I was really awakened more than ever to my thought life, where God showed me “the little foxes” destroying the vineyard. I believe that all of this worked together for my good to bring self-control (Spirit-control, really) to my mind rather than the “feeling control” I often operated under. Those lies produce those ICKKK feelings that lead to OCDs and what not!!!
I Praise God for deliverance from all of our fears (not YET arrived though) 😉 and for brothers & sisters like you who honestly share their experiences to help set others free.
I came upon your site by way of Peter’s “Do Not Let Your Hearts Be Troubled” site on depression. I was struggling in depression and had believed the lie that Christians can’t become “clinically depressed”.
Can you believe the way these lies snowball!? Under the lies, the Truth of God’s Word was distorted to the point that I had misunderstood many biblical truths– thinking they largely involved feelings. However, Truth is Truth. Feelings constantly change. Believing, loving, repentance are not feelings, but actions. The really crazy/sad thing is that I also thought I was a mature Christian, that my faith was so strong! No, my feelings were what was so strong and I …so self-deceived. Scary…
I’ve learned so much in being led out of these lies. For one– even though the Enemy may capture us for a time with his thieving tricks, God can use the experience to make us more secure and mature in Him, and of course, to comfort others. Again, thank YOU for strengthening, encouraging and comforting us— for help with spiritual fitness!! =)
Your sister in Jesus,
I’m so glad you found me. Peter linked to me years ago–I love that God is still sending people my way through him.
Sounds like you’ve had quite a journey. How wonderful that you are well on the road to recovery. And I LOVE the point you made about God using even the LIES for our good. I have found the same in my life. He is so good.
Hi Sandy, it’s been a while since I stopped by (life has gotten busier and busier with the addition of a 3rd child!), but thought of your blog tonight for some random reason and hopped on over (: I’m looking forward to reading through this series because I can relate to EVERYTHING you are saying here…
Great series topic!!!
Oh my gosh…it’s been so long since I’ve seen your name in my comments! It’s so good to see you again. I understand the busy life. That 3rd child will throw you over the edge.
I miss you and hope you are well.