I Can’t Hear Anything

“I’m absolutely convinced that nothing—nothing living or dead, angelic or demonic, today or tomorrow, high or low, thinkable or unthinkable—absolutely nothing can get between us and God’s love because of the way that Jesus our Master has embraced us.” Romans 8:38-39 The Message

I can’t hear anything right now.

I have two hours while the baby sleeps to write this post and I got nothin’. Zilch. Nada. Crickets.

So I decide to shift from blog-writing to lesson-preparation for the Wednesday night class I’m teaching. Maybe that will afford me some inspiration.

Searching for inspiration…

Searching…

Searching…

Nope. It’s a no-go. In fact, my condition has just worsened.

Now, not only do I have nothing for my post, but my hodge-podge of rough notes refuse to flow nicely into even a coherent, logical outline…much less an hour-long class lesson.

Or a brand new blog post.

GRRRRRRRRRR….

The irony is that both my blog post and my Wednesday night class are on the subject of hearing the voice of God. You’d think maybe I could access said Voice to help me out a little here, eh?

Yeah…you’d think.

There are many possible reasons for the silence. Maybe I’m too distracted. Maybe there is spiritual warfare. Maybe God’s trying to teach me something.

And unless God reveals it to me in the next hour and forty five minutes, I’ve lost my window of opportunity to write.

(By the way, I know God is not bound by time, and all…but sometimes I wonder if He forgets that I AM!)

Anyway, so I grab a book I’m reading by John Eldredge, called Walking With God, and start browsing the areas I’ve highlighted, hoping maybe John can offer some ideas for this post.

Coincidentally, (or not) I come across a chapter where he’s struggling with the exact same thing: Needs to write. Limited time. Can’t hear God. Hasn’t the foggiest idea why He can’t hear God…

OK…I may be onto something here.

Eldredge wrestles through the various possibilities for the silence. He confesses his frustrations and his questions. He never fully understands why he can’t hear God on that particular day, but

he decides his inability to hear God will not be the verdict about how he is doing with God that day or how God feels about him at that moment.

Whoa. This is huge. How often have I judged my position with God based solely on how I feel that day, rather than on what the scriptures say?

Just this morning during the worship service at church, I was feeling-not-so-good about myself. Nothing major. Just some areas where I think I’ve failed the last few days. Areas of my thought life. Areas privy to God and me only. But it was enough to make me want to distance myself from God a little. Mostly, because I felt somewhat ashamed—maybe a little unworthy of His love, His anointing and His forgiveness. And because of these feelings of inadequacy, my heart wanted to withhold from fully worshiping God.

OK…now I KNOW I’m onto something here.

During worship, I had to meditate purposely and consciously on the truths of God’s word.

“We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.” (II Corinthians 10:5)

Namely, that I worship God, not because I am worthy but because He is worthy.

“Great is the LORD and most worthy of praise; his greatness no one can fathom.” (Psalm 145:3)

Once I dispelled the lie the Enemy was planting in my head and replaced it with the Truth of God’s word, worship flowed freely. It was quite awesome.

So maybe the whole reason for the silence today with this blog post–and the class prep–is to remind me that hearing from God (or not hearing from God) on any given day does not determine my position with Him. That struggling with sinful temptations does not reduce His love for me in the least. And that even the apparent silence of God can lead me right where God wants me: securely resting in His amazing grace.

Oh…and look at that! I’ve written a blog post, too!