Only 11 More Days Until Christmas…
FYI: My 12-year-old daughter Rebekah likes to be called “Charlie.”
FYI: I’m not making eyecontact with anyone here (JON!) but I’m pretty sure another adult in the house put her up to this.
FYI: We have had no less than 10 caged animals over the years. Everything from guinea pigs, to rabbits, to snakes to hamsters. And probably a few that I’ve blocked out of my mind. Not to mention about 100 creatures we’ve “rescued” from the outdoors. No lie. When my daughter was about 3-years-old, she used to catch lizards and attempt to dress them in Barbie clothes. True story.
FYI: I have personally fed and cleaned cages for every living creature we’ve owned.
FYI: I’m not a fan of cleaning cages, nor am I a fan of animal smells of any kind.
FYI: Yes, as a matter of fact I HAVE told my daugther to feed and clean them herself. That works really well for the first few weeks. And I’m all for disciplining children through natural consequences. But I can’t–for the life of me–stand back and watch living animals die from neglect, even if it’s to prove a point. And trust me, I enjoy proving a good point.
FYI: Despite my daily feeding and cage-cleaning, I have watched every one of those pets die, eventually. A few of them I tried desperately to nurse back to health with my bare hands. Except for Pepper, the boy bunny. Pepper was a very, very bad boy bunny. Pepper peed on my walls. We let Pepper go into the woods one rainy afternoon. I told my daughter that some animals were created to live in houses as pets. Some were created to live in the woods with other wild (bad) animals.
Pepper, my dear, is a wild animal–not a pet. Pepper will be so much happier out in the woods.
Not my finest parenting moment, but when you are in charge of cleaning bad bunny pee off walls…
FYI: I have held sobbing children countless times as we carefully wrapped the good (and dead) animals in old baby blankets, made little coffins and then conducted animal funerals in our backyard.
FYI: Currently, we house one stray cat and three brand new beta fish (replacing Bubbles the Beta Fish after his untimely death a few weeks ago.) Oh, guess who feeds the cat and cleans out the litter?
So here’s what I have to say to Santa in response, with less than 11 days before the blessed event:
That was very hysterical.
I so remember the jello box full of a goldfish body as we buried it in the ground giving the last 'goodbye'…oh my you hit my heart in such a funny way.
(oh we also have the story about the black cat we buried with full funeral only have ours come home the same night). YES we did bury the wrong cat!!! someone's pet got a prime spot in our back yard.
The things we do for our children…OR NOT.
Oh my goodness, the above commenter buried the wrong cat! Too funny!
We had gerbils for our girls…Our youngest accidentally smooshed hers with her knew while trying to catch it after it escaped. She was hysterical, but did not want a funeral as she just wanted it "gone."
My oldest's gerbil died a few years later. My husband and I actually sang "Ding dong the gerbil's dead" when the darn thing finally died. But not in front of my daughter…
We had to bury that one. Rather, Brent buried it, in the dark, under a tree…
We are obviously bursting in sentimentality around this house.
Hope Santa gets your letter and responds appropriately!
Oh, and my word verification is sladd…Which I'm pretty sure is a perfect name for a bearded dragon!
When I saw what they looked like… I started praying that this animal does not make it to your house. Sorry but too ugly and way too scary!
Merry and Happy!