30 Days of Hearing God, Day 27
10 Random thoughts on hearing God, this blog series and the crud in my heart:
1. When I committed to blog every day for this series, I knew it would be challenging. But it is harder than I thought it would be. Even with two vacations nestled in this 30-day period, I cannot believe how whipped I am at the thought of riding this thing out.
2. If I’m weary with the daily writing, it makes me wonder if YOU are weary with the daily reading. Don’t answer that.
3. Yesterday, I had a subscriber drop his/her subscription. The reason he/she noted was, “content no longer relevant.” People add and drop subscriptions almost every day, so no biggie, but something about the timing of yesterday’s post (i.e.whining about my weight for the twenty-seventh time) and having a subscriber drop his/her blog subscription, made me consider the quality of posts I’ve been producing lately.
4. Mostly, it made me consider the quality of my heart-meditations, which tend to materialize into blog posts.
5. Honestly, I think the subscriber is a dude. Cuz I’m just thinking that most women resonated with the whole weight-loss struggle. Just sayin.
6. If anything, over the last 30 posts, I’ve learned that God does not always speak to me in such a way as to accurately interpret and eloquently articulate His voice into a single daily blog post, 500-ish words in length. Sometimes, His voice feels like a nudge or a groan or a poking or an aching. Sometimes it’s a sense that He’s creating clarity in a number of issues. Sometimes it’s just one word. Literally, just one word. And other times, it’s so much and so deep, I feel like I need days, weeks, YEARS to wade through what God has spoken. Mostly, though, I’ve discovered the things that God and I discuss are highly raw, intensely personal and intricately complex. Turns out, these things are much more blog-able after I’ve had a chance to internalize, process and sometimes wrestle with God before I attempt to give it a voice.
7. Some voices—like the one I wrote yesterday—really don’t deserve a blog post. They just need to be told to hush-up.
8. Yesterday, after wallowing in my funk for the better half of the day, it occurred to me that I need to get out more. Literally, I need to get out of this house, this suburban neighborhood and this Selfish Empire of Sandy (my weight, my hair, my blogs, my ministry, my time, my schedule, my food log, my laundry pile, my, my, my, me, me, me) and experience some people who are hurting, dying and lost. God tends to do some world-rocking when I step out of my cushy life and direct my gaze toward lost and dying people.
9. God rocked my world like that a few years ago, and I have an adopted daughter from Guatemala as a result of that particular rocking. Yes, ma’am…it all started with a nudge in my heart that told me while I live in a land of extreme excess—a land where my excess actually becomes a detriment to my spirituality—there are children in other countries who pray for a mom a dad and food.
10. And after reading this post last night, my final thoughts before drifting off to sleep were not centered on my weight. Instead they were
a.What would have happened to my precious daughter if someone didn’t go to Guatemala and give her a family? Would she be in an orphanage? Or begging on the streets? Or terribly abused? Or dead? And…
b.What will God have me to do now that I’ve invited Him to rock my world again?
What is God saying to you? Any crud in your heart He’s trying to purge?
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What a powerful post! I cannot wait to see what God puts in front of you. And, yes, it must have been a dude.
I enjoy reading your posts and your rawness. So, I encourage you tell you to KEEP IT UP! Look forward to reading more, always do.
You're probably right about the unsubscriber being a guy. I can't for the life of me understand why the content of your blod would be no longer relevant.
With regard to yesterday's entry, it was real life. I think that just about everyone has had something so small and irrelevant like their weight send them in to a tailspin. That's life in this fallen world. It is real. Too many times Christians think that they have to hold out their lives as some example of perfection because they have Jesus in their lives. That just isn't realistic.
I appreciate your honesty.
Well one dropped but just a couple of days before one subscribed (me)…and I'm glad I did! I love the 30-day commitment you've made. It's encouraged me to commit time with God everyday as well, thank you!
Oooooh, that's risky business, girlfriend! Asking God to rock your world. Last time I did that, He moved our family away from extended family, friends, church family, schools, ministry, and more! I still haven't totally figured out why He put us here.
Really, though, if we all wanted a nice, stable, non-world-rocking faith, we wouldn't be following Jesus. Becuase nothing is more world-rocking than a dude who hung out with prostitutes and lepers.
If that person didn't unsubscribe you would not have been enlightened… He'll rock your world for posts beyond your imagination!
Looking forward to reading more!
I always enjoy reading your posts. They are uplifting and encouraging. As someone said they are raw and real, like all of us. We go through stuff and it is so comforting to know we are not alone. Can't wait to hear how God is rocking your world. May it encourage all of us to step out too!
Blessings to you and your family!
Sometimes, His voice feels like a nudge or a groan or a poking or an aching.
That is why this is challenging me too.
and, I have been saying to God for two weeks as I sit on my deck in the early morning sun, "Here I am. Send me." And I'm wondering why I feel like I'm losing it… Could it be attack? Seriously, this thought just occurred to me yesterday that an attempt to share what God is doing must be an ugly threat. Just sayin'
And in the nature of time I'm just going to post here instead of FFG blog but I read a quote that went something like this, "If you are eating right, exercising right and the scale doesn't reflect it. Don't stop, sister, remember, the scale lies."
There you have it.
My mucho crud. Exactly what I blogged about today.
Reminds me of the prayer of Jabez when he asked God to expand his borders. At times I am afraid of that prayer and once even asked my husband "please don't pray the prayer of Jabez."
I applaud your faith in asking God to rock your world. We stand with you, Sandy.
I just had that happen to me after I posted ministry plans on my blog. I was a little surprised; but to be honest my first thought was that my identity does not lie in my followers or number thereof.
It lies in Christ~ and He is who is leading me in new directions.
A sweet freedom from people pleasing and wanting everyone to like me that has been such a blessing in my life.
I still love you, because of your heart and your smile and your contagious faith and your willingness to write about all you find joy in and all you struggle with 🙂