Class Reunion, Wedding Anniversary and IKEA

I’m supposed to be blogging about Adoption again today. However, I had a very full weekend involving various significant life events and, frankly, it’s difficult for me to transition mentally from Crazy-Significant-Life-Event-Weekend to Adoption.

So rather than force a post about something helpful and/or informational, I think it best to simply spill my guts about all the nonsense swirling around in my brain. I will try to wrap up my Adoption Series next time.

1. High School Reunion: I attended my 25th Year High School Reunion on Saturday. Which, as you know, means I graduated in 1986, when I was 7-years-old. I missed my 20th because I did not like my hair in 2006. For real. That’s why I didn’t go. But I happen to like my hair right now, so I thought I’d throw caution to the wind and make the 5-hour drive north to my hometown.

At the risk of boring you to tears by giving you the play-by-play on what everyone wore and how most of the men in my class now have shaved heads and how my feet hurt so badly by the end of the night the aching in my arches actually kept me awake, I will simply summarize by saying everyone looked great and seemed happy, which was refreshing.

That sentence was 69 words with only two commas. I am so sorry.

I had a blast-and-a-half seeing my friends, Lisa and Terri, (shown here with me.)

Like most of the other beautiful women in my graduating class, they haven’t changed much since high school. Here, see for yourself.

I forgot to mention, we used to be in a drama-series which ran for a few seasons, until I couldn’t reach an agreement with producers on my salary. They replaced me with Cheryl Ladd, but the show was never the same again.

2. Anniversary: On Sunday, Jon and I celebrated 18 years of wedded bliss.

And by “celebrated” I mean, “Drove back home from Toledo.” And by “drove” I mean “made multiple stops.”

First, we had to stop and scare the snot out of my dad, who had no idea we were coming into town. I don’t like to announce visits when I know we won’t be able to see people. It only hurts their feelings, ya know? But I did want to stop and hug my Daddy, so we did that.

Then, I needed coffee from Panera, because it was already noon and I hadn’t had any yet. And that coupled with the reality of 5 of us in the car for several hours is just a recipe for ugly.

Then we needed gas and snacks.

Then we drove about an hour before we realized it was lunch time.

But we couldn’t grab a fast-food lunch, because we don’t do fast-food. Except Subway. But we had Subway on the way TO Toledo, so no one wanted Subway again.

Speaking of fast-food (follow me on this bunny trail, would you?), my 4-year-old has never been to Burger King, nor can she read. Why, then, does she scream “BURGER KING!!!!” when we drive past one?

Anyhoo.

We decide to eat at The Olive Garden—love their soup and salad. But alas, there was a 25 minute wait. Too long.

So, we drove over to a nearby Ralphies, which is a sports bar and one step away from Burger King ( food-wise) judging from the aroma of all-things-deep-fried permeating the entire acre of Ralphie’s property. But I was happy they had salads (deep-fried, of course), so I agreed. We sat in Ralphie’s (watching football on any one of the 250 big-screen TV’s mounted on the walls) for about 30 minutes before we realized the waitress had not yet taken our orders. So, we abruptly LEFT Ralphie’s and drove over to Panera. Not the same Panera where I got my coffee, though it probably would have been quicker.

By the time we finished lunch, we had been traveling for about 3 hours, but were only about 60 miles into our drive. And that’s about 7 hours in “Car Years” when you have 2 children who forgot to charge their DVD players at Grandma’s house the night before and 1 child who wants to teach the other two a lesson about remembering.

So, in order to expedite our travels, we did what any Anniversary-Celebrating Couple would do—we stopped at IKEA.

3. IKEA: I had never been to IKEA, but always wanted to go. We pass one on the way home from Toledo, and I always say, “Next time, let’s stop at IKEA.” Sunday became my “next time.”

Of course, one child, who shall remain nameless, decided he/she did not want to go to IKEA. No, way. No how.

Taking a child into a store the size of seven consecutive Home Depos when a child does not WANT to be that store is a bit like pushing a stroller with a broken wheel through Disney World.

YOU. JUST. KEEP. PUSHING. THE. STROLLER.THROUGH.THE.MAGIC. KINGDOM.BECAUSE.IT.IS.SUPPOSED.TO.BE.THE.HAPPIEST.PLACE.ON.EARTH.BUT THE.STROLLER.WON’T.GO.WHERE.YOU.WANT.IT.TO.GO.

I don’t have much else to say about IKEA, except

a. They have a place you can drop off little kids. Which would have been extremely convenient if the one kid who didn’t want to be at IKEA would have been the little one.

b. The store never ends. In addition to the kids’ play area, they have a grocery store and concession stand on the first floor, a full-sized restaurant on the second floor, and I’m pretty sure I saw a Discotheque and a small elementary school behind the Home Décor section. The IKEA people have no plans for you to leave IKEA. Ever. Like The Hotel California. You can check out any time you like, but you can never leave.

c. The entire store smells like meatballs. I think they pipe it through the air vents. It’s insane. I never wanted a meatball so badly in my life and I don’t even like meat that much. Two days later, and I STILL want a stinking meatball.

When we were about to leave, we lost track of the child who did not want to be in IKEA, forcing me to pack provisions for the long journey back through the store to find said missing child. Said missing child was in the restroom. Of course, we never looked there.

By the time we left IKEA, it was almost dinnertime—the following day. Why we didn’t just eat meatballs at IKEA, I do not know. But we drove for another hour and decided to stop for Sushi. Because Sushi is a completely reasonable option when you have 3 crabby children trapped in the car with dead DVD batteries on the never-ending Anniversary Road Trip home from your 25th High School Reunion.

We left Toledo at 11 am, but didn’t arrive home to Kentucky until 10 pm. We should have been home by 4 pm. We could have driven all the way to Florida in that time frame. And we should have, considering it was our Wedding Anniversary.

All of that made me wake up on Monday totally behind on everything. Which is why I spent the entire day on Facebook posting reunion pictures and talking with my friends about how much fun we had.

I’m still catching up and probably will be for the next several days. I don’t even have anything for dinner tonight, so in addition to unpacking and doing laundry, I still need to run to the store. I’m not sure what to cook, but I’ve got a hankerin’ for meatballs.

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