Fitness Friday: The Craziness That is My Brain
Dude! I have a GREAT and EASY way to burn 300 calories: Click HERE to download my teaching on “Hearing God Speak in the Midst of Chaos.” Then put it on your I-Pod. Put the I-Pod in your ears and go for a brisk walk. By the time I’m done speaking, you will have burned off lunch—assuming, of course, it wasn’t a bacon cheeseburger and fries. For that, you’d need to listen while running 8 MPH. At which point it would cease to be “great” or “easy”. Word of advice: have a turkey sandwich on whole wheat with a side of carrots instead.
Remember my rapid weight gain? The 12-ish pounds I gained over a few week’s time in the fall that continues to cling to my butt and thighs like a frightened toddler? And remember how after going to my gynecologist and a nutritionist, I went to yet another doctor last week to see if anything funky was going on with me?
Well, blood tests reveal nothing funky with me whatsoever. It’s official: I’m healthy.
I should be really happy about that. And I am. Health is a gift and I do not take that for granted. I’ve worked really hard to maintain my health and be a good steward of this body God has given me, because, as it turns out, this is the only body I get.
But part of me (the fat part) wants to have a physical reason beyond my control for my stubborn weight. Something to blame so I don’t have to give up ice cream. Or spend even more time on the elliptical. Or lift heavier weights. Or try harder.
Waaaaaa! I want my mommy.
So, now I must decide what, if anything, I should do about my lingering 12-ish pounds. My thoughts fluctuate hourly. Sometimes minutely (minutely?). My logical and analytical brain sways to and fro, trying to properly balance and place these 12 little annoying friends of mine.
Here is a peek inside my brain to see what I mean (parents, shield the eyes of your little ones…it’s scary in there!)
Hour One: Slowing metabolism is a normal part of aging. For the love of all that is right and good, why can’t we just give each other permission to age gracefully without putting so much pressure on ourselves and one another to fight it? Aging is beautiful. It’s natural. It’s God’s design.
Hour Two: I need potatoes for dinner…I’ll grab this 5 pound bag right here. Oh my word. The weight I gained is more than double the amount of this bag of potatoes, and every bit as lumpy! That’s it, I’m exercising until every last lump is gone. And I am only buying fruits and veggies while I’m here. Salad for dinner. And breakfast. And lunch. No dressing.
Hour Three: You know, I look cute today. I love the way these clothes look on me. If I just stop trying to squeeze into skinny clothes, and instead wear clothes that actually flatter my figure, it’s not too bad. I actually look great.
Hour Four: Oh crap! I can’t get these shorts buttoned from last summer! And these were my FAT shorts!! Party’s over, people. TO THE GYM WITH YOU, CHUBBY ONE!
Hour Five: Is 12 pounds really that big of a deal? It’s just a number on the scale, right? It’s bondage, I tell you. If I just concentrate on my health and stop worrying how much I weigh, I’ll stay well-balanced and focused on the right things.
Hour Six: Sure, it’s just a number, but 12-ish pounds a year adds up quickly. Let it go, and in just 4 years I will be 50 pounds overweight. That’s exactly how it happens. It’s much easier and healthier to keep weight off than to try to lose it. Besides excess weight is terrible for me—increasing my risk of all kinds of diseases and adverse health conditions.
Hour Seven: Mmmmmm….ice cream.
Hour Eight: I’m such a fool! Why did I waste 500 calories on ice cream? Think of how many times I’ll have to listen to that dumb recording of Hearing God in the Midst of Chaos to burn this off. So NOT worth it.
Hour Nine: Ya know, I look pretty good for a 41-year-old mother of four. Hott. With two “t’s.” Phat. With a “PH.”
Hour Ten: EEEEEEK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Look at how fat my legs are in this picture from vacation!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FAT with an “F”!!!! FAT with an “F”!!!!!
Hour Eleven: Getting this weight off will be too hard. I’ve already tried for the last few months and it’s just not budging. I don’t want to try harder. If after all I do to stay in shape, my body remains this weight, then this weight I shall be.
Hour Twelve: I can do anything I set my mind to do. God’s strength in me is more powerful than the temptation to eat too much or move too little. Since when is it OK to let my fleshly desires dictate how I live? Everything in life worth anything is difficult. Raising godly kids is difficult. Having a great marriage is difficult. Loving people is difficult. Who cares if it is difficult? Stop your whining, Sandy, and do the hard work to get this done.
Which is exactly where I am right now. I am going to get off this computer and have a killer work out. I am going to eat healthy whole foods in proper portion sizes. I am going to get up tomorrow and do it all again. And the next day. And the next day. Until one-by-one all 12 of my little friends melt away into oblivion.
I better go before I change my mind.
I'm glad I am not the only one who has these conversations that change hour by hour!
Aging…Men age gracefully. A little grey on a man and wow! he's sexy. A man loses his hair and bald is in! — sexy. A few little wrinkles around a man's eyes and when he smiles — women melt, he's interesting, he's handsome, intriguing and oh wow! HOTT. A man gains a little weight and he's happy.
A woman gets a little grey — off to the beauty salon. If a woman loses some hair — OH MY!!!! hair extensions, wigs, cover it up. we don't want to be over the hill, old hag. Wrinkles around the eyes? Um….botox baby! A little weight….I don't even want to go there!
In 2 weeks, I will be 41. According to my doctors I am healthy (well lets see what the blood work reveals and the other testing — after all a few years ago, this intertube around my waiste was NOT there!!!). In fact, my doctor, yesterday, told me I was perfect and what was I complaining about I'd lost 7 lbs from last year. I wasn't FAT. What does he know? He's a man who is interesting and charming.
At times I believe in my mental anguish of the day, that the only way for me to drop another 15 to 20 lbs is to be on the Biggest Loser Ranch and have Jillian and Bob yell the fat into submission.
But who am I kidding? The bag of Funyons was calling my name. I already feel it making itself at home around my waiste.
I think there comes a point in our lives where we have to accept that we don't have the bodies and metabolisms we had in our 20s and 30s (which was really good metabolism which responded to the fat busting moves and healthy eating).
But as I think about this statement, I've changed my mind! I refuse not to age gracefully. I refuse to let these 15 lbs hold me hostage. I refuse to allow the temptation of Funyons or anything else salty take control over me!
I am woman, hear me ROAR!!!!! now, I am going to see if I can get a microdermabrasion to soften the lines and get rid of that old skin!
Ana,
And this is why I love you. You are so much like me.
Sandy
O ladies, do we all think alike? The dialogue that changes, for me, from minute to minute – not hour to hour is exhausting.
I think, having thought some of the very same thoughts that you have Sandy, that I lean more on the first one – "Why can't I just relax and be free of the bondage that keeping an 18-year-old body at the age of 56 keeps me in?" Yet I also want to look and feel good.
So for me . . . I am willing to strike a balance between all those thoughts that take on a life of their own inside my brain . . . and allow a few extra pounds while watching what I eat and while exercising. An oddly enough, I feel a bit of peace with that decision.
Who'd have thunk it?
Love you girl! And by the way, you look quite beautiful just as you are! 🙂
Dottie:
Thank you…so do you. Balance is the key. I agree.
I love you.
Sandy
LOl! This was so funny! Thanks for being so real with us. It helps to make our own crazy conversations not so crazy. 🙂 And thank you, too, for making us more aware of our need to be more fit. I love, love chocolate! But I am realizing that I really don't need to eat it every day – but in moderation. I can't kick it totally. LOL!
Thanks Sandy! Have a great weekend!
mmmm….chocolate.
This was the best!! And completely mirrored my thoughts. So glad I'm not the only one with a conflicting brain….I really thought is was just me:) My thoughts go from great to not-so-great as the day progresses and fatigue/hunger sets in. In the morning I'm all "Yes, it's going to be a great, good day!" to, by the afternoon, "Do I really want to be remembered by my kids as the mom who didn't eat after school warm chocolate chip cookies with them because she wanted to be thin? No, of course I don't want my kids to remember me as that. And pizza on Friday nights – do I really want to be that mom that doesn't participate in Friday pizza night?? No, and what about pancakes on Saturdays? And cinnamon rolls on Sundays??"
I'm seeing a pattern here:
a) I obviously allow my kids too many treats – yikes!
b) Extra weight is obviously the kids' fault!
Have a blessed weekend…..I honestly have no good advice 🙁
Why can't we have our cake and eat it, too?
Oh my gosh! It's like you were in MY brain! Thanks for yet another great post. Obviously, I can SO relate!
Wouldn't we scare the world if everyone knew what really goes on in our brains, by the hour. Thanks for sharing this great and funny post.
O.K., you did it again! YOu made me laugh! And since when have you had the ability to read minds? Like MINE?! Love it.
You're 41?
Really. If we lived closer we could have killer workouts together… I needed you today when I decided to nap instead of run.
love you sis
Mindy: I hear ya! Pizza Thursday is a Cooper tradition. The rest of it (pancakes, cookies, etc) are on special occasions only.
Lisa: It's probably a good thing we don't live near each other. I think we've found about 15 things we'd like to do together. We'd never have time for our families! And yes, I'm 41. Why, does that surprise you? I looke OLDER? Or is it that I'm so much WISER? hee hee.
Love you all!
Sandy