But when I got close enough to pick them up, I saw this
Why WHY, I ask you, is there a decapitated mouse literally STUCK to the end of my 15-pound weight? Was it running from the kitty and kamikazed into it? And where, exactly, is the other half of this rodent? I have so many questions. I’m perplexed. I’m disgusted. I’m frightened. I can’t even talk about it. I’m permanently altered as a result of this traumatic event.
I thought I’d keep this post short and sweet this week. Christmas is almost here, and if you aren’t spending time with the people you love…well, you should be. As much as I *heart* that you’re reading my blog, I’d much rather hear that you’re drinking hot chocolate with your kids or meeting your best friend at Starbucks after shopping.
Or that you’re in my basement looking for the top half of my rodent friend.
So without further adieu, I will have yet ANOTHER awkward segue, and tell you a few reasons why I think you should ask Santa for a gift certificate to hire your very own personal trainer after the holidays.
Pounds that are hanging onto my thighs like a frightened toddler.
I’m finding in all the panting, sweating and post workout muscle aches, I’m losing some inches and *surprise* really enjoy working with a trainer. Best of all, I haven’t been mean to him at ALL.
So in the spirit of giving, this Christmas season, I give you
FIVE REASONS YOU NEED A PERSONAL TRAINER
Reason One: A personal trainer will sit down and perform a comprehensive assessment of you and your fitness goals. Then he/she will structure a workout plan to fit your needs. He/she will also walk you through every exercise and help you maintain proper form—a necessity if you want maximum results and minimal injury.
Reason Two: There is something about making an appointment and paying a few dollars to keep you from rolling over and pressing the snooze alarm.
Reason Three: It’s great to have someone hand you a set of heavy weights, look you in the eye and say, “You’re strong…you can do this. Come on, I’ll do it with you.”
Reason Four: A personal trainer will push you harder than you’ll ever push yourself.
Reason Five: : Nothing says “motivation to lose weight” like having a strange man wrap a tape measure around the largest part of your butt, and then write down the number. In the middle of a public fitness facility.
So go right now and write Santa a little letter asking him to bring you a personal trainer for Christmas. Then go have some hot chocolate with your kids or go meet your best friend at Starbucks.
And if you happen to see the top half of my rodent friend, please put him in a ziplock in a far away dumpster, and then please, please thoroughly sanitize the area in which he was found.