1. Oh girl, I so loved this post and the last. I see my "old" self in just about each one of those statements, and can thankfully say that God has really worked on my heart in this area over the last few years. Now I am nice through His grace and love and because I want to serve others, not so I can get what I want or make myself look better 🙂 Thanks for giving me a very vivid picture of what God does when the old is discarded and the new is put on!!!

    I do need to work on not obsessing over what others think of me…I assume that is fear of man instead of people pleasing.

  2. I think sometimes I can say #1 is one I adopt (at times). I seem to be the peacemaker in my husband's family. That can get a bit overwhelming with many powerful personalities.

    I don't have a problem saying no. I've also learned over the years to set limits. And the more I have grown in my relationship with the Lord, the less I find I need the approval of man.

    Good series Sandy and very honest.

  3. Hello…my name is Peggy, I'm a addict, I too have an addiction, I
    was a people pleaser and trying so hard to be a God pleaser only NOW!

    Loving your series, having had much good internet connection & dependable laptop so haven't been able to really respond & thank you again for an excellent series on FREEDOM!

    I learned the hard way about this too! The first time it sank in was when I learned it was a misuse of my spiritual gift in part…not being able to say "no". And I think I came closer than you to the verge of…but I'm sure there were other problems as well…but an addict is an addict…and we have such a time with surrendering, unless of course, it's to please someone!

  4. Yikes – I have been a poster child for all of these questions. I thought over the last year I had gained freedom, but reading this I realize the tendencies are still there. I am just starting to get some control, but have a ways to go to be able to claim "Freedom". Can't wait for the next post on setting boundaries! I really, really need this! Thanks.

  5. I've actually been thinking about this. I am not sure if I am a classic people pleaser.

    I do like for people to like me — but I don't care if people I don't like don't like me. And that is the truth.

    However, there are people in my life that seem to exert a certain power and I seek their approval and acceptance. So, in a sick way, I go along with their whacky suggestions (you can tell by the way my oldest sister pretty much redecorated my house — I justified it as she paid for it so why not.) I go don't cause waves or confront because I tend to deal with crazy irrational people — ie my sister, so it's just easier to nod and agree with a fake smile than it is to try to reason.

    I think with men, I've had a tendency to be a pleaser and could probably agree to being guilty of all of those. Perhaps, that is why God has kept the men at bay for the past few years until I am FREE from this sickness.

    But when it comes to everyone else, I couldn't care less. Well, not that I want people to not like me but I set boundaries, say no, serve but don't over extend myself, give what I can give with a cheerful heart.

    My mom just doesn't get why I can say "no" to her and everyone else but loser boyfriends I'm an idiot or Psycho Ana….

  6. Thank you for do this study. I know I am a people pleaser, and it's recently come to my attn that my attitude has to do with so much bitterness & resentment I have within me towards people who took advantage of me or manipulated me by knowing how "nice" I am. Your descriptions of yourself are very closely related to how I or my spouse describes me…and they are frustrated. Thank you…Even though I knew I don't think I knew how bad it was…this is eye-opening to me. It's a relief that I don't have to do "all these things" because "it's the right thing to do"; rather it's the wrong way to do good things. Thank you…it's a breathe of fresh air.

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