I Make No Apologies

“My soul thirsts for God, for the living God. When can I go and meet with God?” (Psalm 42:2)

I make no apologies.

Some people may be able to coast just fine without a daily diet of God. I am not one of them. Left to my own devices, I become a ball of stress. A bundle of nerves. A temper tantrum waiting to happen.

I’m not very kind.
I’m not very content.
I’m not very loving.

I become self-centered, self-absorbed and self-loathing.

I’m impatient, unwise and unmotivated.
I lack peace, creativity and self-control.

“O God, you are my God, earnestly I seek you; my soul thirsts for you, my body longs for you, in a dry and weary land where there is no water.” (Psalm 63:1)

Everything from getting out of bed to serving my family to writing an interesting blog post stems entirely from the goodness of God.

Every single good thing in me is because of Jesus.

“for he satisfies the thirsty and fills the hungry with good things.” (Psalm 107:9)

I know some Christians say God is their sustenance, but most people I know don’t truly believe it about themselves. Most Christians I know believe they are nice people—moral people—with or without God. God is like the Holy Icing on the Cake. He’s the One who makes them super nice. He is the One who leads and heals and provides. But if He doesn’t, it’s sort of okay. Because at the end of the day, if God doesn’t come through, they can always depend upon their own righteousness to compensate in the mean time. I see people go weeks without cracking open His word and they seem to do just fine.

Not me. I know I cannot do one single good thing without God to strengthen me. I cannot create or give or serve without God’s word nourishing me, His Spirit quenching me.

I’ve tried. It doesn’t work for me. When I become disconnected from The Vine, I might look pretty, propped up in a vase for a few days, but then I quickly shrivel up and die. I can’t fake it. When I haven’t been with Jesus, the whole world can tell.

“I spread out my hands to you; my soul thirsts for you like a parched land.” (Psalm 143:6)

I used to be embarrassed about this. I used to feel bad that I couldn’t simply be a good person on my own. I felt inadequate when my expression of love for others was totally and completely dependent upon the Spirit of God dwelling in me.

“Come, all you who are thirsty, come to the waters; and you who have no money, come, buy and eat! Come, buy wine and milk without money and without cost.”
(Isaiah 55:1)

But now, I am so thankful God doesn’t let me coast on my own goodness. I’m so thankful that He allows me to suffer the discomfort of hunger for His word and distress of thirst for His presence. I’m so thankful He never lets me forget that I am absolutely nothing without Him.

I’d rather have a small morsel of the goodness and grace of God than all the goodness and grace of all human beings combined.

“Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled.”
(Matthew 5:6)

I need God. I cannot make it through today or any day without Him. And for this, I make no apologies.