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The Scoop on Balance

by Sandy Cooper

Mom Tips

Some of you are not privy to my Facebook page and thus, are not privy (I like saying privy) to my famous Mom Tips. So I thought I’d organize and condense them into one handy-dandy blog post so you can have these tasty little nuggets right at your very own finger tips. That’s right. Now you can glean infinite wisdom and insight from my nearly 14 years of parenting. Print these out. Reference them often.

Holiday Season Tips

Stop washing your jeans. Not only does this obviously cut down on laundry, but as the month goes on, your jeans will stretch out, giving you the illusion you are losing weight. A major bonus in this, the Christmas Season.

Be sure to check if school is cancelled BEFORE you make 5 dozen cookies for all the Christmas parties.

It’s always good to check the tracking number on the FedEx packages to confirm delivery, just in case the package was delivered 5 days ago and left behind a planter on your porch where you may not have seen it until spring.

Cleaning Tips

Invest in a few pairs of yoga pants with coordinating tank tops. This way, you can wear the exact same outfit running errands, working out and going to bed. All you have to do is change your bra. You will cut your laundry down by 2/3.

If you happen to walk past a piece of furniture (say, the television) and you notice it is dusty, DON’T use the arm of a white jacket to dust it off. Turns out dust is BLACK on white jacket sleeves, even though it looks white on televisions.

When scooping out the kitty litter into a grocery store-type plastic bag, make certain the bag does not have a giant hole in it BEFORE you walk it through the house.

When your son tries to dislodge the embedded dirt from the bottom of his shoe by BANGING THE SHOE INCESSENTLY ON THE NEWLY MOPPED FLOOR…just excuse yourself and take a nice long Mommy Time Out.

Preschool Parenting Tips

Before you and your preschooler head out to Kroger with a LONG list and LITTLE time, make certain it is NOT Senior Citizen Day.

Don’t be too quick to apply a band aid to that bloody fingertip! The culprit may be nose-picking, which means the blood will wash right off.

And the one tip you must always remember, no matter what the age or gender:

Don’t ever let the kids play with naked Barbies.

Go ahead and chime in…give me your best parenting tip!

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February 11, 2011 11:08 am Sandy Cooper 8 Comments Filed Under: Utter Nonsense

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Comments

  1. 1

    Michelle Riggs says

    February 11, 2011 at 11:45 am

    Very Funny!

    Reply
  2. 2

    The Chubby Dove says

    February 11, 2011 at 11:46 am

    I'm privy to your status updates and I actually look forward to your Mom Tips. They are so practical for everyday life (except the Barbie one). I live with three males and we don't have Barbies here. Luckily, Princess Leia's clothes don't come off. ha ha

    Love you!

    Reply
  3. 3

    lisasmith says

    February 11, 2011 at 11:47 am

    Make sure your potty-training toddler wore a pull-up last night before climbing under his warm blanket to wake him up with kisses on Saturday morning.

    xoxoxo

    Reply
  4. 4

    ET @ Titus2:3-5 says

    February 11, 2011 at 3:01 pm

    Oh Lisa! LOL, LOL, LOL!

    Reply
  5. 5

    Shelly @ Life on the Wild Side says

    February 12, 2011 at 9:33 am

    Oh you are so funny! My tip is similar to Lisa's: always, always, ALWAYS potty before you leave the house. Kids, yes. Mom, absolutely.

    Reply
  6. 6

    Jen says

    February 12, 2011 at 3:37 pm

    Oh, I've so done the kitty litter thing!

    Reply
  7. 7

    jenny says

    February 13, 2011 at 1:12 pm

    haha! Loved this!!! I am sooo the type to wipe off the TV with my jacket. SOOOOO the type. My husband asks me (when he calls from work at times) if I'm wearing my "dressy-sweatpants" or my regular "sweatpants".

    Reply
  8. 8

    Smelling Coffee says

    February 17, 2011 at 10:59 am

    This was great!!! Made me smile. 🙂

    Jennifer

    Reply

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