Mom Tips

Some of you are not privy to my Facebook page and thus, are not privy (I like saying privy) to my famous Mom Tips. So I thought I’d organize and condense them into one handy-dandy blog post so you can have these tasty little nuggets right at your very own finger tips. That’s right. Now you can glean infinite wisdom and insight from my nearly 14 years of parenting. Print these out. Reference them often.

Holiday Season Tips

Stop washing your jeans. Not only does this obviously cut down on laundry, but as the month goes on, your jeans will stretch out, giving you the illusion you are losing weight. A major bonus in this, the Christmas Season.

Be sure to check if school is cancelled BEFORE you make 5 dozen cookies for all the Christmas parties.

It’s always good to check the tracking number on the FedEx packages to confirm delivery, just in case the package was delivered 5 days ago and left behind a planter on your porch where you may not have seen it until spring.

Cleaning Tips

Invest in a few pairs of yoga pants with coordinating tank tops. This way, you can wear the exact same outfit running errands, working out and going to bed. All you have to do is change your bra. You will cut your laundry down by 2/3.

If you happen to walk past a piece of furniture (say, the television) and you notice it is dusty, DON’T use the arm of a white jacket to dust it off. Turns out dust is BLACK on white jacket sleeves, even though it looks white on televisions.

When scooping out the kitty litter into a grocery store-type plastic bag, make certain the bag does not have a giant hole in it BEFORE you walk it through the house.

When your son tries to dislodge the embedded dirt from the bottom of his shoe by BANGING THE SHOE INCESSENTLY ON THE NEWLY MOPPED FLOOR…just excuse yourself and take a nice long Mommy Time Out.

Preschool Parenting Tips

Before you and your preschooler head out to Kroger with a LONG list and LITTLE time, make certain it is NOT Senior Citizen Day.

Don’t be too quick to apply a band aid to that bloody fingertip! The culprit may be nose-picking, which means the blood will wash right off.

And the one tip you must always remember, no matter what the age or gender:

Don’t ever let the kids play with naked Barbies.

Go ahead and chime in…give me your best parenting tip!