Fitness Friday, Sunday Edition: How I Zipped the Bridesmaid Dress

On June 21st, I explained to you my dress dilemma. Basically, I was about to be a bridesmaid in a wedding, I ordered the wrong size dress, had it altered as much as was humanly possible (remember, No Mo?) and it was still too small. With it being too late to order a larger dress, I had until July 19th to lose enough weight and inches to zip the dress I had. (If you want to read the whole messy story, it’s here.)

The very next day, I did what any reasonable person needing to squeeze into a dress in less than a month would do: I left for our Lake House Vacation, where I ate ice cream every night. Except for one night where I had s’mores. And the other day where I had both ice cream AND a piece of strawberry cake. Oh, and the one night I ordered the tiramisu at the Italian place–no need for ice cream when we have tiramisu.

And also, I ate a lot of chips.

Surprise!  I came home from vacation 5 pounds heavier.

I wish I could tell you I’m making this up.

On June 30th, I began my 3-week No Mo Diet Plan to quickly shed the now—what, 15 pounds???—in order to wear the bridesmaid dress on July 19th.

Here’s the skinny on what I ate:

June 30/Day 1:

Breakfast: Coffee with half and half and honey. Oatmeal made with water, a cup of blueberries and a drizzle of honey.

Lunch: Shakeology made with coconut milk, a cup of strawberries, half banana and a handful of spinach.

Dinner: Lemon Rosemary Flounder over a bed of mixed greens (Jillian Michaels recipe).

Exercise: 45 min brisk walk.

Lots of water with lemon throughout the day.

July 1 Day 2:

Coffee with cream and honey.

Breakfast scrambled eggs atop sauteed zucchini with a sprinkle of goat cheese.

Lunch: Chocolate Shakeology smoothie with coconut milk, 1/2 banana, strawberries and spinach.

Snack: Almonds and grapes

Dinner: Pepper steak on a bed of spinach, tomatoes, red onion, Greek olives and roasted asparagus, drizzled with olive oil and white balsamic vinegar.

Workout Jillian Michaels Body Revolution, (front of body–chest, abs, quads)

July 2/Day 3:

Breakfast: scrambled eggs atop sauteed zucchini with goat cheese.

Lunch: Shakeology protein shake with coconut milk, 1/2 banana, pineapple and blackberries.

Snack: Small movie theater popcorn, no butter.

Dinner: Healthy chicken Parmesan made with basil from my garden, atop a bed of mixed greens.

Exercise: Jillian Micheals 90-Day Body Revolution, Back of Body workout. Plus a 45 minute family walk after dinner.

July 3/Day 4:

Breakfast: Coffee with cream and raw honey, 1/2 cup oatmeal with raw almond butter, 1/2 banana and honey,

Lunch: Shakeology protein shake made with almond milk, 1/2 banana and strawberries,

Dinner: Citrus Salmon Salad.

Exercise: one hour brisk walk

Then, I went to my brother’s house for 4th of July weekend, where I ate more veggies and protein, the specifics of which, I do not recall. Except, I dropped a piece of grilled protein on my white jeans, the grease of which stained and, ultimately, ruined my white jeans. I do recall that much.

Then, somewhere in those few days, I received the wedding invitation in the mail. The wedding I had known about and was planning for since some time in the winter, when the bride called me and told me she was engaged.

I stood in my driveway reading the invitation and that’s when I noticed the date.

The date of the wedding was NOT July 19th.

The date of the wedding was July 12th!!!!!!

One week earlier than I thought I had. Which, in weight-loss time, equals about one YEAR.  The situation suddenly became more dyer.  And I was ruing the days I decided ice-cream every day of vacation was a refreshing idea.

I almost threw up, right there in my driveway. Which, incidentally, would have been beneficial at that very moment. Seeing as I was looking for ways to purge inches from my waist line.

Three questions immediately came to mind:

1. How did I miss this? I mean, I’ve been in regular communication with the bride since she asked me to be in the wedding.
2. Sweet Baby Moses, how will I ever fit into this dress in a week?
3. Wait…do we have plans on the 12th?

(Actually, there was a little part of me that was hoping I had scheduled something on the 12th. Something mandatory and non-refundable involving travel, just so I could escape this whole mess of having to squeeze into the dress)

(This fleeting thought had absolutely nothing to do with how much I love my friend or how honored I was that she included me in her wedding party.)

(If you are reading this, Nina, I adore you.)

I frantically called the bride-to-be praying it was a typo. Nope, it wasn’t. Long story short, she had changed the date some time back due to various scheduling issues with the 19th and felt ter-ri-ble that she never communicated this to me.  And that was that.

Having no other choice, I pulled out the big guns—a cleanse. Short of slicing open my side with a steak knife and sucking the fat off with a straw, there was nothing left to do.

I opted for the Dr. Oz 3-Day Detox Cleanse—the same one I did in January. The one that is 4 vegan smoothies a day. But this time, I did it for the 5 days leading up to and including the day of the wedding. That’s 20 smoothies, y’all.

I also walked and ran and l continued doing Jillian Michaels workouts. Sometimes all on the same day.  I don’t know that I’ve ever been more laser-focused than I was that week before the wedding.

It all paid off.

Here is my Facebook Post the morning after the wedding:

July 13: Dress Success! No Mo Diet Final Results: I lost 7.5 inches (1.5 on my waist), 7.2 lbs, and 1.2% body fat, in about 13 days. The dress zipped. I could breathe. All is well. The end.

Sorry for the grainy photo–we took it with my phone.  The important thing here is that the dress is zipped while I’m both breathing and smiling.  I ate real food minutes after this picture was taken.

 

Disclaimer:  I never recommend losing weight this rapidly.  But if you find yourself in a situation like me, I recommend vegetables, protein and a healthy cleanse, if necessary.  Increasing the intensity and length of your workouts is also helpful.  Whatever you do, please don’t starve yourself.  ~FFG~