Stupid diets are everywhere. Honestly, I never understood why anyone would take stupid measures to lose weight. I always thought to myself, “Eat healthy foods, exercise regularly use some self-control, and the weight-loss will follow.” Do you see me rolling my eyes when I’m saying that? Cuz I am totally rolling my eyes. And judging you.
That is, until this last year when I struggled with my own
10 15 18 pounds.
In case you don’t know me, I’ve spent my whole life eating right and exercising. Well, eating as right as I knew at the time. I did go through a Taco Bell Taco Salad phase, for example, under the assumption that “Salad = healthy.” (FYI, a Chicken Ranch Taco Salad packs a whopping 910 calories and 54 grams of fat—not healthy.) But other than things like that, I haven’t done anything wacky, drastic or stupid.
With my diet. We’re talking only about my DIET.
Now that I’m trying to make peace with my new butt and thighs, and mourn the loss of a closet full of clothes that I love, and get used to the strange body I see in the mirror, and wonder if I should keep the clothes (just in case the weight magically falls off) or donate the clothes, I have a whole new empathy for those who struggle with losing weight. After doing all the right things for the last year and not losing a single pound (!) I’m experiencing, for the first time, how it isn’t necessarily all about self-control and hard work. Sometimes it is. But sometimes it’s not. I’m the poster child for “But Sometimes It’s Not.”
I now have days where I’m a little more desperate to shed the weight and therefore, I’m a little more willing to try something stupid.
So, the other day I was reading something on line about African Mango. Supposedly, African Mango will cause you to shed about 12 pounds in 28 days, maybe MORE. Allegedly, Dr. Oz (who I respect immensely) mentioned this supplement on a recent show. Though, I have doubts about him actually mentioning it, since I can’t find any reference to African Mango on his website or any clips of the actual show.
That should have been my first clue.
Anyhoo, sometime around the end of my vegan month, I was having a “I hate my new thighs” day, and I ordered some African Mango supplements off the internet. Because, apparently, they aren’t available in stores.
That should have been my second clue.
Even as I type this, I cringe, because African Mango supplements ain’t cheap. And seriously…how many times has Fitness Friday Girl told you that there is no magic pill to weight loss?!?! About a gagillion.
I took the pills religiously twice a day for a full week. I should have lost anywhere from 3 pounds to 8 pounds by then. Of course, I lost nothing. I think I gained. I don’t even know. It was stupid. But I was desperate. I stopped taking the African Mango.
This past weekend, I had a “being this size isn’t the end of the world” revival, and I bought some great new jeans in a new size. Which I love. The jeans, not necessarily the size.
Now it’s your turn. In your moment of desperation, what stupid diet gimmicks have you fallen for?