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The Scoop on Balance

by Sandy Cooper

Tips for Feeding Picky Eaters

After writing my Holy Hunger post about my picky eater, it got me thinking how much I used to stress out about my daughter’s eating habits. Every day I would carefully plan each and every meal and snack. Perfectly spacing them at 2 to 3 hour intervals, I would make certain each meal was perfectly balanced and nutritionally dense. I even kept a list of foods my daughter liked just in case I died and someone had to try to feed her in an emergency. I’m such a dork.

One of the best pieces of advice I ever received came from her pediatrician. She told me to stop looking at what she was eating over the course of a day, and instead watch her over the course of a week. Once I did that, I realized her diet was much more varied than I originally thought. And if she didn’t eat one day, she usually made up for it the next or maybe the next. The more she was exposed to healthy food, the more she tried, and thus consumed. And lo and behold, as she grew and matured, so did her appetite and her palette. All that worry for nothing.

I think most parents, especially new ones, stress out over their children’s eating habits. Maybe you aren’t hanging your post-mortem meal planner on your fridge like I did, but you still stress.

If I could offer you one word of advice, it would be to relax. Most kids we label picky eaters are just misunderstood normal eaters. But if you want a little more to chew on than “relax,” I found this list of suggestions on the Mayo Clinic website. And since I have an opinion about all things nutrition, I’ve blessed you with my comments in red.

1. Respect your child’s hunger — or lack thereof. Young children tend to eat only when they’re hungry. If your child isn’t hungry, don’t force a meal or snack.

This is tough. Especially when they whine “I’m staaaaaarving” as soon as you load the last plate into the dishwasher. I agree you can’t force a meal, but you need to set some boundaries to maintain your sanity. Usually, I require the non-hungry child to sit at the table with all of us until we are finished eating. Most of the time, he ends up eating, too. Because most of the time, the only reason he’s saying he’s not hungry is because he’s in the middle of a battle between good and evil on his Nintendo DS and cannot be bothered by dinner. If he is genuinely not hungry for dinner, but is genuinely hungry later, I warm up his dinner. Otherwise, I remind him that breakfast is only a few hours away and he can eat as much as he wants then. Then I kiss him good night.

2. Stay calm. If your child senses that you’re unhappy with his or her eating habits, it may become a battle of wills. Threats and punishments only reinforce the power struggle.
Amen to this one. As a new mom with one nursing baby, I witnessed a family member blow a gasket time and time again with her picky eater. It was disturbing, amusing and entertaining all at the same time. I decided right then and there, I would avoid that game at all cost. Mainly because I didn’t want my family to write about it on the Internet and embarrass me 10 years later.

3. Keep an eye on the clock. Nix juice and snacks for at least one hour before meals. If your child comes to the table hungry, he or she may be more motivated to eat.

I have neither time nor desire to monitor liquids. If my child is thirsty, I give him something to drink. The end. My restriction only lies with what he drinks: water, 100% juice, skim milk at home and one child-sized cup of lemonade or soda at a restaurant. Sometimes Daddy buys Gatorade.

4. Don’t expect too much. After age 2, slower growth often reduces a child’s appetite. A few bites may be all it takes for your child to feel full.

This is so true. Toddler and preschool eating habits are feast or famine. There are days Elliana literally takes about five bites of food total. Other days, she grazes all day long. Still other days, she eats a huge breakfast and that’s it until the next day. Remember to watch over the course of a week.

5. Limit liquid calories. Low-fat or fat-free dairy products and 100 percent fruit juice can be important parts of a healthy diet — but if your child fills up on milk or juice, he or she may have no room for meals or snacks.

Nothing’s really changed since I commented on #3.
6. Start small. Offer several foods in small portions. Let your child choose what he or she eats.
This requires me to have “several” things to offer the child. Not always possible. I do my best.
7. Boycott the clean plate club. Don’t force your child to clean his or her plate. This may only ignite — or reinforce — a power struggle over food. Instead, allow your child to stop eating when he or she is full.
The only time I require a clean plate is when I chose the appropriate portion size (I would NEVER require my child to clean his plate at a restaurant!) and he wants dessert. Otherwise, the child may stop eating as soon as he is full. I also learned about 2 years into parenting that battles increase exponentially with age and number of children. Therefore, food is something I refuse to fight about. Right now my biggest battles involve Elliana pulling the kitty’s tail. I’m open to suggestions on how to deter future kitty torture. Time outs are not working.

8. Leave taste out of it. Talk about a food’s color, shape, aroma and texture — not whether it tastes good.

Ummmm…I don’t even know what that means. Don’t talk about how a food tastes? That’s like saying “don’t talk about how food tastes.” Am I the only one lost here?
9. Be patient with new foods. Young children often touch or smell new foods, and may even put tiny bits in their mouths and then take them back out again. Your child may need repeated exposure to a new food before he or she takes the first bite.
Now this I totally get! I’ve read that a child may need up to 20 exposures to a new food before he will even taste it! I often just put a spoonful of a new food on the child’s plate and say, “You don’t have to eat it, just leave it on your plate.” That way they can smell it or check out the texture with no pressure to perform the dreaded task of trying it. It also helps to describe the food to the child, “This pickle is just a really salty cucumber.” Also, never say, “I don’t think you’ll like this.” I catch myself doing this sometimes and then I kick myself under the table when I realize what I’ve said. Oh, and this goes against every parenting rule in the book, but I pay my kids a quarter to try new foods. It really works with the older ones. Before you all freak out, I only do this with foods I genuinely think they will like but are too afraid to try. Don’t think of it as a bribe. Think of it as “creative motivation.”

10. Eat breakfast for dinner. Who says cereal or pancakes are only for breakfast? The distinction between breakfast, lunch and dinner foods may be lost on your child.

We just did this Monday. A Cooper Family favorite.
11. Make it fun. Serve broccoli and other veggies with a favorite dip or sauce. Cut foods into various shapes with cookie cutters.
Dips? Yes. Cookie cutters? I misplaced them somewhere between child 2 and 3. I think they are in the play doh bin.
12. Recruit your child’s help. At the grocery store, ask your child to help you select fruits, vegetables and other healthy foods. Don’t buy anything that you don’t want your child to eat. At home, encourage your child to help you rinse veggies, stir batter or set the table.

This would mean I actually have to bring my children to the grocery store. See, as sad as it may seem, the grocery store is my happy place. Something about taking 3 kids there changes the ambiance. I know, I need to get out more. I will in 2012 when Elliana starts kindergarten. Same with dinner prep. This is usually my kids’ TV time. I know that doesn’t win me any kind of parenting award, but I never signed up for a competition.

13. Set a good example. If you eat a variety of healthy foods, your child is more likely to follow suit.
I think this is the best advice on the planet. I really could have saved us all so much time by just posting this one.

14. Be sneaky. Add chopped broccoli or green peppers to spaghetti sauce, top cereal with fruit slices, or mix grated zucchini and carrots into casseroles and soups.

Oh, my kids are waaaaay too smart for this. Rebekah is “texture girl.” She can spot a grated zucchini a mile away. This would never work in my house. It would also require my children to eat sauce, casseroles or soups.
15. Keep it separate. If your child isn’t a fan of various ingredients thrown together, you might “unmix” the food. Place sandwich fixings outside the bread, or serve the ingredients of a salad, casserole or stir-fry separately.
Now we’re talkin! I do this almost every night. Basically, we all eat about the same thing. My kids just have the unassembled version.
16. Stick to the routine. Serve meals and snacks at about the same times every day. If the kitchen is closed at other times, your child may be more likely to eat what’s served for meals and snacks.
This was much easier when my kids were really small. Now, it seems my kitchen never closes. Very annoying. Because every time I prepare something for someone else, I find myself eating, too.
17. Minimize distractions. Turn off the television during meals, and don’t allow books or toys at the table.
Duh.
18. Don’t offer dessert as a reward. Withholding dessert sends the message that dessert is the best food, which may only increase your child’s desire for sweets. You might select one or two nights a week as dessert nights, and skip dessert the rest of the week. Or redefine dessert as fruit, yogurt or other healthy choices.
I don’t know what to say about this. Dessert IS the best food, isn’t it? How do they not view it as a reward? I know that goes against every rule on how to prevent eating disorders, so how about if I say something to my kids like, “You can only have dessert if you finish your healthy food, but just know, “desserts” is just “Stressed” spelled backwards. Would that be better?
19. Expect some food preferences to stick. As kids mature, they tend to become less picky about food. Still, everyone has food preferences. Don’t expect your child to like everything.
Amen. I don’t like everything. Why should I expect my kids to like the exact same things as me?20. Know when to seek help. If your child is energetic and growing, he or she is probably doing fine. Consult your child’s doctor if you’re concerned that picky eating is compromising your child’s growth and development or if certain foods seem to make your child ill.
And amen again.
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Do you have any great picky eater suggestions? Leave a comment and let me know.
Also, if you have a fitness or diet-related post, I’d love to link up to you. Just leave me a comment and I’m on it!!

And if you like this post or my blog, linking back to me would make me smile. Links are the gifts that keep on giving.

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Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. 1

    Very funny, Sandy. There are some great tips here, but I will say that I was greatly relieved when I found out that toddlers need so much LESS food than we adults do–like three green beans is enough. That put things into perspective for me. I stopped pushing so much then.

    P.S. I think the kitty will teach your daughter not to pull its tail on its own. Either that, or it doesn't bother the cat so don't let it bother you. 🙂

    Reply
  2. 2

    Very funny, Sandy. There are some great tips here, but I will say that I was greatly relieved when I found out that toddlers need so much LESS food than we adults do–like three green beans is enough. That put things into perspective for me. I stopped pushing so much then.

    P.S. I think the kitty will teach your daughter not to pull its tail on its own. Either that, or it doesn't bother the cat so don't let it bother you. 🙂

    Reply
  3. 3

    Good post Sandy! I have always put a whole bunch of spinach in the blender to add to my spag. sauce. One time Elena caught me and said, "YOU PUT SALAD IN THE SAUCE???!!!". Also, we don't do the clean plate club either. We do the "3 bites to be polite" rule. That is three bite of everything on your plate. I say that if someone (usually ME) took the time to make you a meal then your owe them 3 bites to be polite.

    Reply
  4. 4

    Good post Sandy! I have always put a whole bunch of spinach in the blender to add to my spag. sauce. One time Elena caught me and said, "YOU PUT SALAD IN THE SAUCE???!!!". Also, we don't do the clean plate club either. We do the "3 bites to be polite" rule. That is three bite of everything on your plate. I say that if someone (usually ME) took the time to make you a meal then your owe them 3 bites to be polite.

    Reply
  5. 5

    Sandy, I'm just now getting around to reading your fitness Friday blog post. I missed not participating this week. But I'll be back next Friday!

    I always love reading your posts. You add your Sandy humor to everything; you can't help yourself and I love that about you.

    I remember as a kid whenever my mother added a new vegetable or dish, we had to at least eat about half of it. She wanted us to experience a variety of food. We didn't mind since we knew it wasn't too much. We hardly ever went out to eat. The only times I remember might have been on Easter with the whole big family or to Howard Johnson's on a Friday night when they had all you can eat fish for about $3.

    Reply
  6. 6

    Sandy, I'm just now getting around to reading your fitness Friday blog post. I missed not participating this week. But I'll be back next Friday!

    I always love reading your posts. You add your Sandy humor to everything; you can't help yourself and I love that about you.

    I remember as a kid whenever my mother added a new vegetable or dish, we had to at least eat about half of it. She wanted us to experience a variety of food. We didn't mind since we knew it wasn't too much. We hardly ever went out to eat. The only times I remember might have been on Easter with the whole big family or to Howard Johnson's on a Friday night when they had all you can eat fish for about $3.

    Reply

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