I figured I better check in with you all since, in the last 24 hours, several of you have sent me a note asking, in one way or another, “are you okay?” It’s like a little timer went off and you all thought, “Where is Sandy?”
Thank you for checking on me. And yes, I’m fine. It’s just that summer is in full swing here, evidenced by the pool towels and bathing suits hanging along the chairs on my deck.
Last week, I had one kid on a mission trip, one kid at church camp and one kid at VBS. I planned to write then. And I did, a little. Except some of it was really heavy and most of it needed tons of revisions (after having this post up all day, I realized I had written that my writing needed “renovations” Holy cow, my brain is on the painting!). And I really wanted to spend the week catching up with some real-life friends, which I did.
Earlier this week, Papa and Grannie Annie came for a visit. We don’t see them very often, because they live so far away. They’re a lot of fun.
Tomorrow I have painters coming for the entire week. And, I’m not sure why this just occurred to me at 1 am, but I actually need to remove everything from my walls and wash my baseboards in three rooms and two hallways. And I need to buy primer, because I forgot that. Like TODAY.
But before I do that, I simply HAVE to tell you about a very serious problem I have—briefly, because,clearly, I am short on time. It’s a dress problem. Yes, a SERIOUS dress problem.
On July 19th, I am going to be a bridesmaid in the wedding of these two gorgeous people.
(Seriously, have you ever seen two more beautiful people on Planet Earth? No. you have not.)
And this is the dress the bride has asked us to wear, except ours will be melon-colored.
For the pretty dress, the bride chose an on-line company, located in China. Since I have no plans to visit China before the wedding, and could no-way try the dress on, I had two options:
1. Order the dress in a pre-made size
2. Custom order the dress to my exact measurements for $30 more
I normally wear a size 6. So, I looked at the measurements for a pre-made size 6. They were my exact measurements except for the waist, which was a bit* too small. The size 8 was better for my waist, but too big everywhere else. The size 10 was even BETTER for my waist, but the rest of the dress would have been gigantic.
I then looked at the instructions to measure for the custom-made dress. There were charts and diagrams and unfamiliar words. Clearly, I would need another set of hands, because I couldn’t reach some of the areas I needed to measure. It was very complicated. Or it seemed so at the time.
It was late.
I was tired.
I figured there would be some “give” in the waist.
I figured if it was too tight, I’d just lose a few pounds before the wedding.
I didn’t want to spend the extra $30 for the custom-made dress.
I ordered the size 6 and went to bed.
The dress arrived a few weeks later. It was lovely. Truly lovely. Well-made. Gorgeous color. Very flattering to my skin tone.
I slipped it on and tried to zip it. Except it wouldn’t zip. And I don’t mean, “Suck it up, Sandy and zip the stupid dress.” I’m talking a six to eight inch gap* across my back. This dress was in NO WAY made for me. It was made for HER!
I had two options:
1. Take it to a tailor and see if she could let it out.
2. Return the dress and order a new, custom-made one. (I would need to pay for shipping to China which is like $100, and they were only going to refund half the amount I paid for the dress. Plus, I needed to pay full price for the new one!)
Oh, the anxiety! I let the dress hang in my closet for two weeks while I wrestled with the options. Back and forth, I went. It was the crazy-end-of-the-school-year season, so I just kept putting it off. Meanwhile, time was ticking away and the wedding was approaching.
I finally thought, “What the heck. I’ll take it to a tailor. If she can’t fix it, I have enough time to order a new one. JUST enough time” (I needed 5 weeks).
I took it to this lovely Asian lady my husband has used. I honestly did not have much hope in finding eight extra inches of material in there, but you never know. These Asian ladies are miracle workers.
I put on the dress and turned around to show her the back.
Her eyes widened, “This dress too SMAW!”
“Yeah, WAAAY too small.”
She did not laugh or smile.
Then she let out a few seams, felt around inside the dress, nodded her head and announced, “I can do it. One week. Thirty-two dolla.”
“You can do it?? REALLY? You can make this fit me? For only $32? Oh thank you. Thank you. Thank you. I love you.”
(yes, I told the Asian tailor that I loved her. And I meant it. I may have hugged her. I probably cried.)
So, one week later, I went to pick up the dress. It was the moment of truth.
I tried it on.
And I could not zip it.
I peeked my head out to the sweet Asian lady tailor, “Can you please help me? I can’t zip it.”
She walked in, yanked the dress closed with both hands and ZZZZZZZIP!
At that point, a sound escaped from my mouth that was a cross between a gasp and a hiccup. Sort of like “HIP!” Because my ribs, y’all. My ribs compressed into my vital organs. And my arms were sticking out oddly from the sides of my body because the fat from my stomach had to go SOMEWHERE. And I was stiff. Like a stick-figure. And that lovely deep V neck line was pulled as far across my chest as it could possibly go, so you can only imagine what THAT looked like. And I had to take tiny, short breaths in order to remain conscious.
But the dress was zipped!!!
“It’s still too small!” I managed to squeak.
And she said, “No mo. There’s no mo!”
And I said, “What, no more FOOD? You mean, I won’t be able to eat FOOD for the next month in order to wear this dress?”
(Yes, I actually said that. Unfortunately, sarcasm is often lost on people who don’t speak English as their first language.)
Then she did some adjustment with the strap around the neck to try to fix the gaping neckline that was borderline pornographic and I paid her $32 and left with the too-smaw dress.
That was three days ago.
So, here’s the problem: It’s too late to order the new custom-made dress. I HAVE to wear this dress. And that means I have to lose about 10 pounds and a good 2 inches off my waist in the next month.
CRAP! CRAP! CRAP!
I’m not even kidding a little bit. Between now and July 19th, I have to seriously decrease my food intake and increase my exercise. On vacation!!! Over the 4th of July!!!
CRAP! CRAP! CRAP! CRAP!
I will be eating lots of green veggies, very little sugar and probably lots of grilled chicken. I will be running AND lifting weights. Probably daily. I am going all hard-core. For the sake of the dress.
I am not looking forward to it. This goes against everything Fitness Friday Girl stands for. The whole “balance” thing? Yeah. Just, whatever.
Because in the words of sweet Asian tailor lady, “There’s no mo.”
I’ll keep you posted.
Q4U: Have you ever HAD to lose weight in a short period of time for something? Why? How did you do it?
*NOT a bit.
Because of summer and painters and vacations and holidays and stuff, I will not be posting on a regular schedule until mid-August. I’ll do what I can, when I can. But that probably won’t be much.
Just FYI, so you don’t worry about me.
Linking up with Jill